Reflections

2 hours, 120 minutes. 7200 seconds.

2011-11-22T21:45:00.000-08:00

" " यह मत सोचो की कितने लम्हे है बाकी ज़िन्दगी के;

ये सोचो की कितनी ज़िन्दगी हैं बाकि हर लम्हे में "

"Ye mat socho ki kitne lamhe hai baaki zindagi ke;

Ye socho ki kitni zindagi hain baki har lamhe me"

anonymous

The cell phone alarm is put on snooze for the nth time this morning. As, I toss and turn, and crib and curl, and mutter "Why can't I sleep, a little more?"

Dragging myself up I finally embrace the day in its full glory. The refreshing shower and the strawberry bath bubbles transport me to another world. While, the constant knocks from outside again break my stream of thought. And I wish "Why can't I bathe a little more?"

While I drink my breakfast and gulp down the newspaper, I say my prayers on the move. My mind still stuck in the ipod songs do not register the grandmother's love or remind me of good manners or gratitude for the meal.

I just keep on moving and living, just like the local trains here in Mumbai; not noticing the faces, always on their own, speedily moving. As, I miss the train I wonder, "Why can't the trains be a little late?".

The friendly guard lets me in without the late sign on the office book. The sigh of relief on reaching just before the boss. The Smiles that greet and the eyes that meet. We know we will miss the lunch again because we don't have time. "Why can't we enjoy our lunch a little more?"

Just when our sullen, falling faces leave for home, a little one runs with a balloon and his smile has the spark and freshness that I did not ever notice or understand. "Why can't I live a little more?"

And, I realised what I was missing.

Given a choice, we all might live a little differently. Wake up with leisure, gain our calm and take control of our lives. Many of us are governed by our needs, desires, responsibilities. We all wish for a little more time. If, 2 hours were added to our normal days, I do not actually think that things will be a lot different. Because, we do not lack time but the management of time.

If spent wisely our normal days will itself add 2 hours to it.

The two hours lived are two hours saved, are the two extra hours for my day. To wake up before time and see the sunrise. Enjoy reading a book in the morning and writing a diary at night. Making a cup of coffee for my mother and joining my grandmother feeding the birds. Appreciating her for the amazing meals, playing with my little brother at the breakfast table. Reading newspaper to dad. Realising how he needed a new pair of spectacles and an eye checkup.

On my way to office, I buy new clothes for the little one near my office. Compliment my colleague on her wonderful dress. Things look beautiful, if I think there is extra time for everything. If I know their is always time to live a little extra.

"Don't think about the brevity of life

Think about how much you can live in that little time."

PS-- Written as a contest entry for Surf Excel Matic, so you don't have to spend your precious time doing it separately. Let the detergent do the washing, while you spend time with your family!

If you had two extra hours in a day, how would you spend it?

http://www.indiblogger.in/topic.php?topic=46

Diary of a newly wed man!!

2011-08-07T01:19:00.000-07:00

Dear Diary,

To say it is okay (and mean it too).
To not say it is okay-- All the time.

To say I understand.
To show that I understand.

To avoid double standards.
But, two things are not always the same.

To message-- 'take care/ we will work it out' * every now and then
*even if I said it on phone a minute ago. repeat them until they are acknowledged for.

To not say it is ok, when she is too hyper to understand (because, she already knows it is ok)
She does not want to hear "it is OK" all the time.

Innovate, Innovate, Innovate.

I should talk about myself.. (if she gives me a chance)

I should say "she is beautiful" but paraphrases and synonyms are preferred for change.

Give her some space. (even if you don't have yours)
Don't watch television. work on the computer or read Income Tax books on weekends.

Ask her if she wants to hang out with your friends.
Don't be presumptuous .

Eat what she cooks.

I should say "I love you"
I should not say I love You all the time.
At least say it once in an hour when home.

Do not write these things anywhere. She doesn't like it.

Do not learn the above things as a rule... You should rather feel them by heart

I should not change, She loves me the way I am..

But there is certainly scope for Improvement in me....

Love
me
The poor hubby
BKS.

A note to myself.

2011-07-08T06:55:00.000-07:00

Dear You--me,

A lot has happened in the past few months. You have matured, cribbed, sulked, laughed and cried over what has happened. You have felt happy, ecstatic, moved, and loved. You have been through goods and bads; happiness and sorrow; highs and lows. (and they say this is just the beginning) Not that, they never hit me in the past 23 years. But, this time you were not alone. You know how nice it feels to have one whole person, entirely to yourself ;)

You can just speak the world to him, eat his head, tell him the last tiny winy detail of the day, bitch about your best friend, or even parents. (By now, everyone knows how important talking is for you) And he would not say “shut up”. Till the time you haven’t vomited out the last spurt of negativity out of the system.(himmat hai Strength)

Because, he knows that this is just the usual done to death soul cleaning (fancy name for bitching/gossip) And once it is “Deleted” out of system it won’t pop up like the irritating burps after raw radish. God you hate them.

The one person can be the best friend, the enemy, a punch bag and even the insane kid you want to do the stupidest of things with.

You have in the last month, realised how awful You are. You already knew that You are really “awesome” but, being awful sucks. I know. You pretty much hated it when the realization dawned at certain inappropriate moments (you know public emo-outbursts. They hurt real bad).

But, initially the change kills you. The change makes you feel so pointless. It makes you feel like Sisyphus dragging the same old rock every day. Till one day you actually think hell! Why drag it anyway? Let’s sit down and take a drag. (bad one)

This post is nothing but an attempt to get back to the blogging world. To let them know the posts that went missing were because-- You got married, then travelled, then shifted base (they know that already), then responsibilities, then feeling responsible for those responsibilities,then trying to act all married, then growing old, having new people to call your own, new found parents, a whole new family… phew.

Feeling pukish over made being responsible and then realising hell you are so not responsible.

But, then it has its own positives and negatives and neutrals. (yeah right!, this post has more scary looking negatives than positives) The melodrama about love, life and relationships hits you hard. You realise the things you read and saw were really true. The one person in life actually makes you feel so complete that the meagre details of the everyday life do seem really worthwhile. Or at times they don’t and you don’t have an option.

You wait for the one meeting at the end of the day. The wait seems endless and boring and monotonous but, really worth it because, that is how it is. HE is the one you will spend the rest of the life with. Really, rest of the life seems so long.

Let’s say we will try spending the next year or so (to begin with). And then another .. and then a few more.. Going gets easier like that.

I do not actually come up with pretty personal notes often. I know it is not a proper post you expect. But, wait I promise I shall be regular from now on. Promise pakka promise.. treat this as a long due note to myself. The public me, the personal me and the wannabe- writer me.

So, that after an year or so, when I find myself really responsible for it and I am real mad at the one man I have married. This note might help me get back to him and help him get back at me ;). He better read this because he has a lot of expectations to meet. After all it is difficult to handle a sould caught between the Yous and the Mes ..:)

With lots of love and never ending grudges

From

the wannabe me, the married me, the me me, the me that always talks about me.

Revolution was it?

2011-04-09T12:13:00.000-07:00

When I was busy collecting my thoughts at India Gate, joined by a couple of friends and a few unknown people, a little boy in a tattered vest and boxers came running towards me asking for a candle.

He enquired

"Didi yahan kya ho reha hai?"

I, in my very profound ways, explained the kid "rally ho rehi hai. desh ke liye." (Wow did that even make sense? Whatever!)

The boy was definitely not so satisfied with the answer so, he asked again. This time he chose another person ofcourse .

"Bhaiya, yeh mombatti anna ke liye hai? Kal bhi aaye the na yahan sab" Suddenly someone shouted "bharat mata ki jai, Vande matrem, vande matram"

Before any one of us could have replied the boy jumped excitedly and said " arrey aazadi aaane wali hai. bhai humein aazadi milne wali hai" and he ran away jubilant in his own little world.

I realised, how he simplified what we could not even phrase. He knew there was some one called Anna. Not that the movement or the strike would change the world in 95 hours. But, the effort showed us that we all are not just nincompoops. We know how to follow the lead when we see one. We know the importance of being together, of supporting our people even if it is not a cricket match.

We might have issues with people involved with the movement but the level of dedication, the media portrayal and at the 'genuineness' of the cause, drove many of us to Jantar Mantar. The fact that the people there are no less 'common' than us. In other words it was a movement where everyone was 'approachable'.

We could talk to Anna, Kejriwal, Agnivesh or anyone out there without any ladder of formalities. Yes, one just had to write it on a paper and pass it on to the stage or you can still mail them your views. But, before that do the home work of reading and analysing what exactly is on the table.

A few things I loved about the five day haul.

The very first is the humility, discipline and order portrayed by the Delhiwalas. It was incredible to see the 'carefree rather careless' delhites in their new civilised avatar. I did not experience any uncomfortable glances from roadside romeos. It was peaceful in spirit and nature.

Secondly, I was surprised to see the way the movement struck a chord with people from different age groups, different sects, different locations. I met people from Maharashtra, Uttar Pradesh and Haryana who had volunteered to the cause irrespective of any personal or regional interest.

A conversation--

He- Aap kahan se aayi ho madame?
Me- Yahin se hun, dilli se.
He- mein aur mere chaar dost haryana ke ek gaon se aaye hein. Mutewa (or was it mutera/ sorry I
forgot)
Me- accha.

Another man joined us asking if we needed help with candle distribution or any other duty he could take up. As, I politely accepted the offer the guy continued his conversation.

He- Toh aap yahan kaam kerti hein. anna ji ke saath?
Me- nahi bas aise hi. arvind ji ke saath kaam kiya hai. aur lega ki yahan sab accha ho reha hai. isliye aa gayi.
He- Hum toh Anna ke liye aaye. Woh humare liye aaya hai. Dekho bhai, Uski toh sudhar li.

I gave him an inquisitive look. To which he promptly responded

He- arrey tehattar (73)saal ka hai yeh anna. iski toh ho li jitni zindagi honi thi. bas ab humari hi toh sudharne ke liye lega hua hai. Toh jab yeh bhooka reh sakta hai toh hum yahan naa asake hein?

Me- sahi baat hai ji bilkul. bahut accha kiya aapne.

Thirdly the media, this above conversation was possible because of the media campaigning. There was a major news draught that would have hit media if they failed to pick Anna's movement. Right after world cup and right before IPL. The timing was right and thus the 24 hour news channel syndrome hummed the anna raag day and night.

Fourthly the so called social networking as always acted as a catalyst in the way people came together in various parts of the country.

Fifthly, even if it was a handful of people who came there for show off or just for any darn reason. I saw people coming together. The big city culture of not intervening in your neighbours' feud did not stop any one to rub shoulders with the common junta.

I would categorise these people into four types--

Nobody-- From a sweeper who willingly cleaned the streets to a kid who asked me "madam yahan azadi aayegi?"

Somebody-- Bollywood, and theatre artists. some struggling actors were also seen. a few page three people like Koel Puri.

Anybody-- People who want to be cool and show off activism

Everybodyaam aadmi. or the person who came out of curiosity to see what exactly is happening at jantar mantar. I would fall into this category.

So all of them were there to show what was one of the best mass revolutions of the times. Even the bollywood that flocked for a change avoided cheap thrills. They came, they saw, said a few lines that were not taught and left.

The politicians were not allowed to enter the movement. Another plus.

Lastly, we are living amidst very difficult times where 'being together' is the only hope for a successful future. The peoples movement in Libya and other nations has proved that if we take charge than nothing is difficult.

Just that many of us, like myself, often thought that India needs a world cup or a real war to join hands. We can never come to consensus on one single thing. I think, this little something did make a difference. Atleast being there and seeing it all helped me realise how we are not that hopeless a lot. We know when to stick together and we can show what we are made of.

There are a lot many talks about the means and the measures and also the final achievement. But for me it was like winning the world cup all over again. Thank you for reminding that we stand together as a nation. I know it does not comprise of a few thousand people. But one person managed to pull them together. We might have many Annas amongst us. Thank you for inspiring us always.

Shifting Spaces--- a random random random thought

2011-03-06T23:05:00.000-08:00

The ease and familiarity of an old place always forbids a person from accepting a new one. The comparisons do not stop and neither do the chain of memories attached to it end. Without being judgmental or nostalgic one can not think or feel. It is like you are so entangled with the baggage of the past and so hell bend on denying the future that you might not even give the present a chance. we put at stake the presence of things and people and weigh them with the past. so strong is the feeling that we look for familiar faces amongst unknown crowds or the tangibility of spaces that no longer exist. The changing of geographical coordinates or shifting of spaces can affect us this way was not known to me until now. A space has a substantial physical presence of its own. It exists. I know. I can not explain how possessiveness for a place is inherent in our very being. But it some how does. The semantics of "here and now" reside in a set "then and there". The moment the coordinates change the resulting components of happiness, joy, sorrow, laughter change simultaneously. I was just living in denial. denying the place it's rightful place. Now I know that it held a place in my heart.

PS-- I know the note does not make any darn sense... but it was a thought that needed an outlet.. i had to reflect upon it.. so, bear with it.

Ahem.. Yes Yes..It has been a while..

2011-02-09T20:37:00.000-08:00

Exactly a day short of a three months break and add to it a changed calender year.. darn i have taken a long break.. so let me catch my breath what all has happened/ is happening--

1. I am now married
2. I no longer stay in Delhi.
3. I am now posting from a PC rather than my laptop
4. I miss reading your blogs
5. I am looking for freelance writing opportunities or guest faculty jobs in and around Mumbai. Also, anything other than that part time that catches my attention.
6. I miss posting on the blog
7. I hate answering to the question-- "how is married life going?" Duh like is there any answer to that
8. My brother also got married.
9. Now all three of us are married and settled.
10. Why do we often say he or she is "settled" when what we mean is "married"
11. Trust me there is nothing "settling" about the idea of marriage.
12. Ohh I love the guy I am married to. He is pretty settled :)
13. The guy loves me too.
14. I am going for Bryan Adams show on 12th.
15. I love Mumbai at night.
16. Nim- I have bought a camera DSLR- cannon E400D. finally!!
17. I have'nt written anything for a while.
18. Other than a few poems I keep scribbling every now and then.
19. I shall post one here as well.
20. Now, I do not even know why I wrote the post in numbers.
21. 21 sounds a fine end to it. It is considered auspicious by us Indians.

Living through...

Living through

the glimpses of life

from the open window

living through

the nameless faces

and the faceless names

living through

the wait to see you smile

at the end of the day

living through

the moments of

uncontrolled passion

living through

the happiness borrowed

from the pages of past

living through

the shadows of self

in the looking glass.

Ladies Shaal

2010-11-11T03:37:00.000-08:00

A cup of life!! ek pyala zindagi

The Station master left home just like always-- coaxing his wife for not getting up on time. It was routine. She never did wake up and he never stopped cribbing.

Champa, the maid, was again late for work. While Mrs. Kanta was furious over her early morning excuses as she whirled out of her home.

Professor Hari Prasad reached college only after a detour to the railway station.

Dr. Kapoor’s mornings began or ended with the tiring train ride to the Jangpura station. How he dreaded those night duties.

While Dhaniram, was better off without any work other than putting two and two together. This helped him compare his life with others and rejoice over the pluses. He had spent his best days sitting next to the railway gate what he termed as ‘art of observation’.

Chhotu on the other hand wished he had ten hands, for the baggages were increasing faster than the number of passengers.

These exasperated souls were headed for the same ‘magical’ destination. Often they took it out on the magician himself and often they silently waited for his magic to work. The magic technique Makku used was unknown. But he did have a trick, a certain way to handle their chaos. It was known to all.

Otherwise, how will such diverse set of complainants get hearing at the same court? That too, without any delay in judgement. Because after all, justice delayed is justice denied. Our Makku belived in delivering full and final justice to all, at the earliest. On just one appeal from his people “makku ek cup chai” and he will respond “taiiyar hai sir”.

Often, I wonder, life would be simpler, if the people of our country, especially the one on the top, were half as efficient as him. He had his mind steady and feet grounded. He knew what he was doing and how he had to do it. Pride in whatever he did and humbleness that took him places.

At the Jangpura station, mak, makku, makkhi, and makdi were all synonyms for our very own “makbool bhai”. Though he, to you, will appear a mere ‘chai wala’. Actually, his job was the most important of all. The tea-lovers do not need any convincing about how important his task was. For the rest of you, I shall do a bit of explanation.

To speak of it in makku bhai’s words, that will make my task simpler, written on a black board with a piece of chalk “ek pyali jeevan”; also written in English “a cup of life”. This is what you would call in advertising ‘a damdar punch line’ which was enough to woo people. The product was a hit with everyone.

There were times when his absences lead to huge losses to Indian Railways. Last June everybody’s pale faces reflected his jaundiced state. The trains got delayed and incidents of useless fights and feuds increased considerably at the usually peaceful station.

While, Dr. Kapoor made sure Makku had no trouble recuperating. Mr. Station Master forced his wife to make goond ke laddus for Makku’s retaining of physical fitness. And soon life regained its warmth with Makku’s arrival.

The usual cacophonous chehel pehel of the station felt melodious with the symphony of his magical liquid. Dhatura, the rag picker got the force to again hear never ending series of curses and abuses hailed on him. While, Mohan was back to his ‘jai shani dev’ banner and solemn expressions which made it easier to get people into his shani dev trap. But the expression was hard to sustain and tea helped him fix it right where it should be. As he said, “thoda dukhi, thoda bechara, chamkaye bigdi kismet ka sitara”.

Makbool felt content doing what he did. He was as always too excited about winters. And honestly speaking, he had all the reasons for it. His business reached its peak during these times. Who won’t like that anyway? But what he liked, most, was least related to the soaring figures. But, the way he started his job.

It was on one cold winter morning when he waited endlessly for happiness to come and it came in all unexpected ways. It was seven years from now when standing on this very station he was cursing railways for the delayed train schedules. He was part of the crowd. A job interview awaited him and reaching on time now seemed all the more unlikely.

Sitting there he kept thinking about what the future held in store for him. While from somewhere came a cup right next to him. The cup had some steaming hot liquid in it and it was very hard to see what exactly was there. But the fragrance, the warmth were so overpowering that it worked like a sedative on a winter morning.

It was as if some one could actually make him do anything in return for that magical potion. As soon as the drops of magic went down his throat, the anxiety melted and the mind relaxed. He now felt light and saw around him. He found a ladies shawl next to him and saw a female figure walk down the alley. He shouted “madame, madame aapka shaal”.

The female was in a terrible hurry as she rushed and waved with a kettle in her hand. That very glimpse of her enamoured our Makku bhai. This tale was more famous than folk tales in the vicinity of Jangpura.

The cup given by that girl was still framed and kept on the counter. And every winter morning makku used to wrap himself in the warmth of the maroon Pashmina ladies shaal.

He wished to see her once more and to know her more. Everyone called her the ‘tea fairy’. While many thought it was a cooked up tale. Whatever it was, the ladies shaal made sure that the coldness of world did not affect makku and his warmth affected everybody else’s life.

Udaan

2010-09-18T07:17:00.000-07:00

‘उड़ान'

उस पंछी से ना थे ख्वाब कभी
जा नभ में पंख बिछाने के
ना चाह कहीं थी सीने में
चंदा के ठंडी छाओं की

हम ख्वाब संजोते हैं
कितने ही ---
सूरज की जाती किरणों से
सतरंगी नभ की चुनरी में

काश के पंछी से कह पाते
की उड़ने में वह बात नहीं
जो बात है नभ को जीने में

क्या समझेगा वह इस बात को ..
क्यूंकि ना भाता उसको ठहराव कभी
जीवन उसका ‘बदलाव’ से है
नभ की सतरंगी छाओं से है

सोचे तो---
अपना जीवन भी उसके आकाश सा है
दुःख की सुख में सुख की दुःख में
अपनी भी छाओं और धुप भी है

वह पंछी 'उड़ते -उड़ते' ही
वह पंछी 'उड़ने' से ही
अपनी पहचान बनाता है

हम अपनी सी पहचान लिए
उड़ने की कोशिश करते हैं

झुट्लाते हैं उस कोशिश को
कह कर की
हम जैसे हैं --'बेह्तर है'
क्यूंकि उड़ने से डरते हैं

ठहराव जिसे हम कहते थे
थी शाख वह एक तन्हाई की

पंछी उड़ता ही रहता है
अनहद है आकाश सदा

आकाश अथाह है उड़ने को
पर खुलने की देर ही है …

Boring post. Just updating Status. Next coming in really fast.

2010-07-30T23:56:00.000-07:00

It's been a while

I posted here

life has been crazy

and I have been rather lazy

Shut up!!

Starting with a rhyme.. damn I seriously needed the break.

Ok the very big question - Where was I?

1. Facebook.

2. Nowhere

3. Invisible on Gtalk

4. Lazyworld

5 .Out of town

6. Busy ... without work.

All of the above summarise reasons behind my absensce. I tried posting here almost n number of times. Many good things worth reporting happened. My birthday, a friend's bday and how special they both were. But, then now they are stale, have probably slipped out of my mind. :(

I am unemployed by choice and yet looking for some work that will keep me busy. So, I have associated myself with this NGO whose creative wing is being handled by me. Like website layout and the slogans, poster, campaigning things. too many weddings are coming up in the family. So, have been helping around here and there. Shopping is on and people at my place don't leave a moment to remind me that "Marriage is a good thing" (exactly like the tanishq ad).

My results are out. I am officially a post graduate in literature now. I like the sound of it. But, the scores are not that encouraging. Should have worked harder. Think the same every year. The movie Khatta Meetha should not be called 'khatta or meetha' .. It is full of bitter moments man. It has sense enough for Akshay Kumar to do a few more Singh is Kings or Chandni Chowks to China.

While the common wealth games are almost here, Money's is busy clearing the Aiyars with Rains and opposition is luring the gains out of inhouse tiffs. I like the political blame game that is now taking most of the news space. Udaan is a super duper movie worth your money. And Ronit Roy is officially an actor class apart. I thank Ekta Kapoor for giving him a new life with her serials and thanks to which we saw him on big screen after so many many years. Remember his first gig around ages back when I was in 2-3 I think... Dil kya cheez hai janam hum toh jaan tere naam kerta hai.. :) brilliant.

Below is a photo celebrating rains. And it has not been edited or something. I love it for the feel a cell phone camera sepia mode. No editing or zoom and the honesty of emotion. aah. :)

Rain rain come again!!

Jaipur Jaipur.. hurr hurr.. :)

2010-05-25T11:33:00.000-07:00

It was first journey alone on a train to Jaipur. Of course, excited I was. Not expecting too much. but i had my ideas about 'good' company that would make my morning hours worth all the effort. For 4-5 hours long journey definitely needs some inspiration and motivation. But then.. if only wishes had wings.

Anyhow, my excitement to all this woke me up directly at 4 30 am. During exams I needed more than ten kinds of alarms and people to wake me up at that hour and still I used to oversleep. Perhaps, it was similar to the feeling right before the school picnic- waking up early naturally, as if you will have extra fun by doing so.

So, the journey started well. i felt independent enough, the initial jitters now vanished and i flaunted my feminine traits (the very few i possess) so as to indicate my no-nonsense-outlook, at the same time 'oh-so-interesting-creature' looks.. will dwell into them later.. :)

I saw a movie on my ipod-summer school. fun thi.. You should watch it, a laugh riot. Got free breakfast in shatabdi, i savouired every bit. i am not much of a breakfast person but -free tha na.. toh i ate everything.. hehehe. I also got a 'fruity' look alike drink called 'ditto' like they couldn't name it better. it tasted yuckyyy..

After reading Satyajit Ray's 'Feluda', around 9am I decided I should sleep for a while. but the man sitting behind me was hell bend on announcing it to the train that he was on his way to Jaipur.. hurray!!

let's call him the Sarkari Babu, atleast he sounded like one man.

SB - Arrey Sharma Ji, namashkar

Sharma- blah blah

SB- haan haan bahut kaam hai aaj kal toh..kya bataun bas (mat batao yaar)

Sharma- yeah right (like what else a person will say to such a show off anyway.. )

SB- arrey nahi, mein kahan. mujhe anwar shab kahan saans lene dete hein. ab aaj hi jaiour jaa reha hun. abhi mein train hu

Sharma- Thank God he is going to Jaipur (I hope he said that)

SB- Ab Aapke hotey huye bhi mere saath yeh kya ho reha hai. kabhi yahan kabhi wahan.

Sharma- blah... (must have hung up, but that did not stop mr.SB)

SB- Oh network gone. Indian railways sir.

SB phone call 2

SB- haan bhabhiji

Bhabhiji- arrey babau aap

SB- arrey haan bhabhi aapki devraani aa rehi hai aaj apke paas.

Bhabhiji- accha arrey wah.

SB- Nahi Nahi, Mein nahi aa reha. mein jaipur ja reha hun ( Arrey who asked man? why did he think he was so wanted everywhere)

Bhabhiji- Thank god (I hope she said that)

SB- Apko pata hi hai kitna kaam kerwate hein yeh log

Bhabhiji - lagta hai woh aagayi (mera toh peecha chhod)

SB- accha haan mere paas bhi call aa reha hai.

SB phone call - 3

The 20,000 decibels voice on my ear drum continues as I try solving the feluda mystery amidst overpowering drowsiness.

SB- arrey mishraji, aapne jhumein call hi nahi kiya (jhootha abhi kerh reha tha call aa rehi hai)

Mishra- toh (why should He call anyway)

SB- arrey aapka kaam ker diya mein ne. Tickets mil gaye hein aapke

Mishra- mera kaam ohh accha ho ga koi... (m sure he had forgotten about it himself)

SB- haan haan aapne keha tha na ek baar. Yeh toh mera farz tha. PAr mein mil nahi sakunga aapse.

Mishra- mein ne kab keha milna hai. aaram se dijiyega

SB- haan abhi mein jai pur jaa reha hun... ( really!!)

Mishra- arrey koi jaldi nahi hai

SB phone again...

SB- Arrey tom / dick or harry (T/D/H)- hello!! Woh GMR ke notes jo tune note pad mein banaye the na. tmere ko bhej

T/D/H- woh jo rough mein banaye they ek hafta pehle?

SB- Haan wahi .. unko rough walon ko na ab kaam aayenge agle hafte.

T/D/H- toh aapko aaj chaiye nahi?

Holy crap - T/D/H don't you know SB is on his way to Jaipur.

All the work has to be delegated today itself. All family calls have to be made today.

And ofcourse he was on one point mission to ruin my sleep.. Gawwd.. I gave him some very very bad looks when I boarded of. Kala Mucchad.

The post is majorly in hindi. But I was too irritated to translate it in English. :)

Déjà vu

2010-04-27T02:52:00.000-07:00

Picture Courtsey- Internet

It was a bright, sunny, afternoon illuminating her dead living room. Her eyes strained to adjust with the light now cascading through the blinds of the window. Next to the broken vas, the shards of mirror and the useless pieces of furniture lay her curled up little body.

Was she alive? She thought. Was she wanting to be alive, she wondered.

Her hand bruised, bandaged with a white handkerchief tied around the wrist. The blotchy bit of cloth looked old and pale. Perhaps, it has been often used for the same purpose. Her head was throbbing.

As she saw the 18 years of her life in this very room. What was she to do? Who was she?

She could certainly not remember everything. Anything.

She searched herself in the many broken pieces on the floor. She picked one of them and the rays refracted and she smiled. Smiled.

It was here birthday and the room was lit with 16 candles and his smile. Their friends had made the day unforgettable. They had slept on the couch that day.

She jolted from the memory. As she saw one of her shadows cry. She moved closer picked it up and saw the day outside hospital. And in his arms she had wept till dawn. He was there with her all the time. The days had seemed so long but he had made the sorrow go away.

Suddenly, the sound of the tap tickled her senses, reminding her of the Mumbai monsoons. Last year they were stuck in home for three whole days. And the days were still vivid and fresh in her memories.

She felt dizzy and held her self to keep her gaze steady. The cracked ochre walls, the pale red curtains and the burnished photo frame. She swept the floor and made her way into the kitchen.

She saw the clock it was three. The calendar said it was 26^th. He would be here any moment now. She put herself together and staggered her way to the bedroom. Changed into a beautiful chiffon saree, wore the bangles and the high heel sandals.

She rushed to the railway station and thought she will surprise him. It was a great plan. She hated to wait and he had always told her that she should not bother to surprise her. And she will never succeed in doing so. This time she will. She knew.

But, perhaps he wants to surprise her. Trains came. Trains went. Must have missed it or may be she did not see him. Oh right! She was so busy looking for him and all these uniform walas looked the same. She had seen so many of them since her marriage that being amidst them gave her a sense of déjà vu, she thought.

She anxiously waited for a familiar face as one of them walked towards her. She knew him and relief swept her.

“Captain Ramesh” she waved and walked towards her “Where is Ani?”

He gave her a quizzical look and said “He did not mention you will be coming.”

“Ohh silly, How will he, if he did not know?” said she.

“Come let us go. He must have left for home.” said Ramesh.

They went back home. Ramesh opened the door and told her to wait. He must be here any moment now. May be he had planned another surprise. So, she should stay inside.

As she waited, it was twilight. Ramesh was gone. The yellow of the sun now entered her room. Squalid. Old. Tired.

She saw the red flow inside her room. The vision again dwindling, a glance shot towards the pile of newspapers in the corner of the balcony. She wiped sweat off her forehead as the vermillion trickled down her neck.

She lay there forever, she thought. There lay the broken pieces of her bangles, the mirror and this time she did not sweep them away.

Where was he? It was late.

And there he was, smiling in his starched green uniform, hanging on the wall.

He still looked so handsome. Her heart went flippety flop, like a teenage girl, she thought. The uniform had always fascinated her.

She loved him.

Was he laughing at her? He certainly had a sadistic side. He loved it when she used to get irritated and was smitten by the expression on her face with her beautiful pout.

She smiled. Yes, he was doing it again. Silly me thought she, as a wave of darkness took over again.

A few photo shots I like.

2010-04-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

This one looks really nice when enlarged.try it.

You can see the hand in this one. But i tried really hard to get this angle. Though did not turn out the way i wanted it to.

Attempted something. Don't think kind of succeeded.

I like the flower for it's beautiful pattern or what u call the shape.. accha tha.

Loved the colours.

Kind of cliche but this makes a wonderful wall paper. try it.

This is a cell phone pic. 2 mega pixel ..not bad eh.. :) Lohri photo. old one

Just learning how to play with light and dark. Nothing extra ordinary about it. But like the bulb light on photo.

Another cliche I guess every darn person tries this. Thanks to my friend for running around and scaring the
birds. Even I could give it a 'shot' very literally though.

Mera Gaon mera des.. Just a moving picture while I went to my village in Rajasthan last year.

Kabutar ja ja ja

Ja re ja munh dho ke aa.. :) I loved this kid. one of the many I meet on my way to college.

Happy Hands.. Not so happy

Sad, I found it.Could not do anything about it.This whole commonwealth scenario has given birth such new spaces on the other wise plain topography of the university.

Loved her. Haseena and Ali. Wonderful kids to talk to.

That is it for the time being. Perhaps I got inspired by Nim to post my pics. I am a photo freak. rather at home I am known for this habit and often poked fun at. Whatever. I like it I do it. I soon plan to buy a DSLR though. Can't wait. Exams were bad. Coz I can't study. Lets see 5 more to go. Will get free by 6th of May. see you around.

Belated Happy bihu, Baisakhi, New Year (tamilian I believe) and all other festivals I missed in between. :)

No means yes

2010-03-30T03:13:00.000-07:00

" No is ~~Yes~~"

NO- Pronunciation [noh]

Definition: Nay; not; not at all; not in any respect or degree; a word expressing negation, denial, or refusal. Before or after another negative, no is emphatic.

Practical definition- Ya; yes; yes definitely; Why not?; a word implying affirmation, challenging; Dar gaya? No is evasive.

God asked Adam and Eve ‘not to’ eat the apple, did they not?;

Lakshman asked Sita ‘not to’ cross the laxman rekha, did she not?;

Zeus asked Pandora ‘not to’ open the Jar/box, did she not?

So, it has happened in the past and happens in the present. Harry Potter and the Gang very well know the pros and cons of entering the chamber of secrets, but the curious brains cannot take no for an option.

The board ‘No Noise please’ literally means- Silence please, practically means- stop here, giggle, be loud, discuss and leave; just as a ‘do not litter’ sign implies- throw the last night’s chilli paneer, the bread wrapper and the waste paper no where else but here.

By all the ‘No smoking’ signs on campuses or other public transports we mean you should technically not smoke, but then, we are a free country and we could not care less. And by now, we have seen n’ number of donkeys peeing at the walls painted “yahan peshab kerna mana hai” or to put it right “dekho gadha peshab ker reha hai” .

The logic is simple, by telling us ‘what not to do’ you have challenged us to do it.

It is like questioning our ‘ego’ which, is waiting for the thrill of defying rules. This is inherent in our culture, in our sub-conscious, we know that we should always atleast try what is otherwise prohibited. When I say, part of our culture, it does not only mean culture in the present day and time. Culture, as it signifies, is ever flowing and hence this nature of affirming to the negative is recorded in our texts and myths since forever.

The meteorological department warns the fishermen of an impending peril to ‘not to’ enter the waters. But the fact that they might get a better catch in free waters leads them to take the risk. At times, defying sanctity of these two letters means taking risk, to face a battle or major consequence.

Whenever you try to warn some one on why the person should not plunge into something, in most cases, it backfires. The person who is warned usually assumes there has to be some concealed motive behind the warning. After all, to trust is considered to be weak and gullible.

You see a little boy in school getting bullied by a strong nasty kid. He comes and takes his pencil away. A group of onlookers aggravate the situation just by their remark “can’t you face him? Dar gaya be”. This negation ‘Can’t’ here questions the very masculinity of the kid and begins the reason for never saying ‘no’.

No symbolises defeat, cowardliness and worthlessness.

The idea has been governing us at every field. No as a yes, guides us in our personal lives, professional lives and social lives. In love life this results in the making of loverboys, stalkers and aashiqs. A girl when says NO has to mean Yes.

The love quotient becomes stronger if it begins with a no. The persuasion increases and reaches new levels till the girl is scared enough to fall in love. But never can a ‘no’ mean a ‘no’. That is a golden rule exploited enough by cinematic medium as well.

The societal value system is such that it encourages us to not follow the ‘no’.

Take for example, a traditional lunch or preetibhoj where the art of courtesy or manwaar is at play. The guests when eating are given due respect, every effort is made to ensure that they are well fed. In other words they have ‘over-eaten’. When you say ‘no’ for a meethai or anything there will be four other people telling you “Arrey take one more. Aise kaise.” So the expression has never meant to us what it should actually mean.

Our ‘on the road’ behaviour speaks for its self. The sign says ‘no parking’ and there will be a long line of cars right in front of it. We won’t learn a lesson till it is towed away or perhaps not even after that. I remember this friend who holds a record on ‘not’ following the red light rules. He prides himself on jumping redlight a 100 times. This is the thrill that comes out with the sheer ‘negation’ of the ‘negative’.

When grown ups get into an altercation about which they cannot find a logical argument to prove their point. We often come across “humein naa sunney ki aadat nahin hai”- “we do not accept no as an answer.”

Not only is it difficult to accept ‘no’ it becomes very difficult to ‘say’ it as well. People sometimes feel ashamed or guilty if they have to say NO. The corporate culture as such, grooms you to not to say no. Because it might harm your career, so go ahead accept everything with a nod and life is simple. They often do things against their will and end up feeling used and resentful.

The startling point here becomes the ‘unsettling’ idea behind the word itself. The two letters individually do not mean anything to us. Yet together they imply a lot. A "no" says something about the individual and that at times mean we are not good enough.

The unease of negation sometimes paralyzes us. We even fear a "no" so much that we put off, or avoid, certain topics to be discussed because we are not prepared to hear a "no".

The expression thus seeks assertiveness, resilience and patience. All three we lack when it comes to accepting this word in its true meaning and principle. In India it stares at us and asks “kyun, dar gaya?”

Beetey pal

2010-03-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

Surkh panno per,

lal syahi Ki likhawat

Chand khushiyan,

Naye sapno Ki chahat

Ankahi baatein,

Chhupe armano Ki Aahat

Unki muhabbat,

Woh dabi Muskurahat

Woh nazarien,

un nazaron ki hichkichahat

Beetey afsaano mein

chand alfazo ki taravaat

tum kya samjhoge ?

Do you mind a Human Relationship?

2010-03-13T04:07:00.000-08:00

Every Person has a talent. An inherent talent. Some are good at making up stories, some are like masters in being caught at wrong situations. Some get the guys/girls they like. Many get guys/girls who like them.

Here I am talking about girl(s) who get guys like 'they just want a girl'. Now this post is no sexist rant or so. just a general observation of certain experiences of what many call eve teasing or morning teasing or just roadside harassing.

So what triggers of such desperation is not rocket science. The mystery is that some girls have this knack for always attracting attention from this these sorta people. Not that they fall into the stupid cliche arguments of 'plunging necklines or short skirts or exposure' crap. What are there characteristics, how does it work...

No idea.. Just that out of the series of such instances. I thought lets analyse two.

Lets call these girls - guinea pigs 'GP'

Scene I

At Delhi University it was around 7/8pm. Outside the station in search for an auto.

A chasmish (bespectacled) guy. all skins and bones (ASAB)

ASAB- Hello
GP- aaain!
ASAB- Madame can I talk?
GP- ehh (to her self, like no way you are goonga) (fastens her steps)
ASAB- Can we be friendship?
GP- Are you from orkut?
ASAB- haiin?
GP- ohh meant no no noway.. (almost runs into a rickshaw. and thus just hops in)

Just FYI- you don't make/ create/ do or 'be' a friendship. (I sound such a geek)

Scene II
GUY no.2 called HR

GP reading Who will cry when you will die? (sequel to the book The Monk who sold the Ferrari)
in the metro. Don't ask me "Why?" because, I am clueless. May be this triggered off the attention.. possible... :)

HR constantly stares at her, sneaks glances every now and then, while she continues to read,eyes buried deep into the book. The moment she gets off

She realized that a tall dark, not-so-handsome guy, had followed her out and was too eager to have a word with her.

GP rushed out. Took the stairs instead of escalators. (stay fit)

HR- (a fake funny accent) "Ma'am, I wanted to talk to you in the metro.
GP- ehh (confused look) (to her self) Not again
HR- But, I thought I will be insulted if you will say No in the metro.
GP- (now almost outside the station) And you won't feel insulted if I say it now?
HR- (haiin, yeh toh mein ne socha hi nahi expression) No, no I mean don't say No.
GP- It's a NO. and I mean a no.
HR- With such a pretty face you will be having many boyfriends.
GP- like will you please get lost. (Pehli baat toh hai nahi, hai toh Tere ghar se kya jata hai expression)
HR- As you are so pretty. Please, don't u mind a friend in the Navy?
GP- (saves a giggle) I definitely mind it. I am not interested.
HR- But ma'am atleast talk to me.
GP- "No. Thank you" (now with a stern face and almost running) Stop following me.
GP was now a good distance away but could still hear the guy talking. Suddenly she stopped.

Because, after all attempts of pleasing GP 'literally', HR called out,

"Ok forget about friendship will you mind a 'Human Relationship'?

A gush of fresh air, made her silky stresses flow on her face. Her duppatta eager to fly and see the world. Her mind a bit strained.

GP, stood still, trying to figure out, what exactly did he just say and what exactly did he mean.
What is Human Relationship (HR). She wondered.

She almost controlled her urge to say, "Yes, lets go for a coffee and you explain me what sort of new relationship this actually is?"

(All the characters and stories have taken place in reality. They are not creation of my stupid brain. But yes, the exaggeration wherever noticed is the need of the plot. Don't try this at home they are performed by experts)

PS- I have not reached a conclusion on why certain people/ girls in this case, have this knack for attracting faltu attention or whatever way you term it. samajh toh gaye na. toh ab batao why why why?

It is just a feeling I get

2010-03-02T06:40:00.000-08:00

It is just a feeling I get,
a little slow
a little sour..

when it feels,
I could do
without some sunshine,
for a change.

It feels
too hot otherwise.

I like it dark
and dull at times...

The way I feel
when a damp cloth
is left for too long
in my closet.

The smell it leaves
long after it is gone.

It is not the smell
but, familiarity of it
that makes me uneasy.

It is just a feeling I get...

like sepia toned photographs
all yellow and dull.
I like them that way.

It is easy to explain
it to my heart
they are just pictures
not real-not life.

It is just a feeling I get
when the shreds
of wax colours
stick to the corners
of my nails
and I can see
the red in them.

Dirty -they may seem
but then
it feels
not everything
parts away easily.

It is just a feeling I get
when I know
I am not to do 'it'
But I do 'it' anyway
and then I feel
what have I done?

It is just a feeling I get

It is a feeling that
differs me from the rest.

I do not aspire to be different.
otherwise
it gets difficult to
fade away
in the crowd...

It is just a feeling I get.

When you trust someone and feel the person is indispensable in your life. You tend to make the mistake of treating him/her as a shadow to your own self. A person who is with you, for you no matter how miserable and horrendous you feel. At times even the best of days can have the worst endings.

But I like Bollywood with happy endings.

To over react is an art. I am very well trained in it.

I am in a very Self-Sucky-Tuccha-Muccha-Crappy-Gande wala-Vaaahiyaatly Ghatiya Mood.. (SSTMCGVGM.. and I think you can add another 27 alphabets to it)

PS- Holi was good. Exams are on. Days were really awesome in the past. Even today ain't that bad. It is just a feeling I get....

Valentine's Day

2010-02-13T14:34:00.001-08:00

Evanescence

The naughty little cloud played with the rain drops and managed to tickle some showers out of the sky. It was a beautiful morning. The clouds all smiling while the sun hiding, grumpy and dead. The trees were in love with the rain drops as they kissed them incessantly.

The sheeshum trees were swaying in the cold breeze and the little red flowers waiting to be shed. They were dying to meet the sand and wrap themselves behind the earthen veil . The dog wanted to taste the air and could not get enough of it. He sneezed and shivered but ,just to feel a few more rain drops on his tongue.

The old man with his chattering teeth made a face similar to that of a ruminating cow. The cat was too lazy to react. While, the little boy curiously crawled to see why everything smelt like hot chocolate. The adolescent, down the street, was all set to join her giggling gang on the terrace.

A 40 something woman craved for extra pair of hands that will make her a cup of tea. She could enjoy it outside in the balcony. The 40 something man was waiting for the morning cup of tea and wishing too badly for it to be steaming hot today.

The lover boy rushed to the nearby flower shop and bought the best of the red roses. Anxious hands stretch outside the bus window to feel the satin touch of his hands over hers. As, the two hands meet the rain drops cascading love all around.

And then, the deafening loud thud. Was it the thunder? Or did the clouds growl? Cries. Screams. Confusion. Chaos.

The clouds glum. The flowers never wished to meet the earth in this manner as the tree lay lifeless on the ground. The little one curled up in a corner. The world fell apart for the teen as the giggles echoed on the fallen roof.

The broken cycle, red roses and the pool of blood. Her lovely green eyes now content as their hands lay hand in hand. The tea was steaming hot. But no body was there to drink it.

The bone china mug crashed and broke into pieces, she once again again wished for extra pair of hands.

My heartiest condolences to people who died in the Pune blasts. And to all those who are no longer with us because of terrorism. R.I.P.

Contest

2010-02-03T08:08:00.000-08:00

Here is the 'show your best contest on colors magazine. I thought I would put up strawberry-licious for it. It sounds nice and fun. and also will get to read a lot more as there are so many blogs contesting for it.. good one.

Strawberry-licious

2010-01-29T07:23:00.001-08:00

Do you know the feeling you get when you eat a strawberry candy filled with strawberry juice? The way it fills your senses, the moment it bursts, and then melts, leaving your taste buds tangy and the tongue- 'reddish or dark pink'.

That is how I used to feel, when I saw those pretty ladies outside. I was five, and their flashy ensemble with red cheeks and glossy lips looked charming. I could feel it in the corners of my mouth. I always wanted to own the shiny little magical potions they applied.

Their mouth must taste like that strawberry candy, I told myself.

I used to eat beetle leaf, the strawberry candy or orange bar ice cream just to get those pink, red or orange lips. That would bring me closer to those goddesses of beauty. My mother scolded me whenever I tried and acted like this, or what she called 'acted above my age'.

I dreamed of me being declared ‘Miss India’ and the only thing visible in those glimpses of bliss were my shiny red lips. At nine, I had once caught hold of this magical stick in the closet. And I came out looking like a chimp.

Now at thirteen, my childhood antics make me feel so stupid. Though, till last year they all thought of me as a kid. I realized one grows up very fast. It took me just a night. I slept as a girl but, woke up like a woman.

In school, when I participated in the dance competition, the first fascinating thought that came to my mind was 'make up'. I could officially put on the red thing on my lips now, I thought. The first peck on my cheek by Thanna Ammaa sent chills down my spine. She smelled like vanilla, like the bakery shop round the street.

All these and many more random thoughts came to my mind that night.

Sitting on the bed full of rose petals. My hands painted red, with alta. The gajra in my hair, the red nail paint, the red of my lips flushed my cheeks. He came that night. I curled a bit.

He came closer, tasted my lips and whispered "strawberry-licious."

But, for the first time I craved for something else. Was this the reality I always wished for?

Red 'I was' in mind body and soul. But mark of vermilion never touched me the way it did the rest.

***************************************************************

Every hour, four women and girls in India enter prostitution, three of them against their will

125th Post :)

2010-01-17T11:37:00.000-08:00

First of all I am in love with this song called

‘Dil toh baccha hai ji’

Movie- Ishqia

Music- Vishal Bharadwaj

Lyrics- Gulzar

Singer- Rahat fateh Ali khan

The beats of last year’s Dhan te naa still reverberate in our ears. But, Vishal and Gulzar have moved on. They have embarked on a new journey of ‘Ibn e batuta’ this time with the sound track of Ishqia.

For all who are unaware of the magic that an acoustic guitar can weave listen to the first track on the album- ‘Dil toh baccha hai ji’. The song is beautifully rendered by Rahat Fateh Ali khan. It can be tasted, felt and lived. Very subtle, soft, almost like some one is humming it in your ears. It invokes the ‘innocence’ of our hearts which has disappeared in the hullabaloo of our daily chores. The ‘Ji’ adds the element of ‘adab’ and adds to the simplicity of the song. Gulzar as always expresses it in the simplest yet moving words ‘dar lagta hai tanha sone ko ji,
dil to bachcha hai ji, thoda kachcha hai ji ….”

Please do listen to this song...

*************************************************************************************

125th post comes with a long short story

It is divided in three parts. hope you enjoy it. If you don't. then thank you for wasting time anyway :)

*************************************************************************************

The vow of secrecy

She was twenty one now and she had to let it go.

Let it all go.

She can't go on leading her life on a stack of lies.

She will have to face it.

“Yes I will” said she. And this time she really meant it.

Sara Abraham Ghosh was the only daughter of Bina Abraham and Barin Ghosh. The most loved of course and the most pampered as well. Mr. Ghosh was a government servant with the Income Tax department so they never were in the same city for long. Mrs. Bina was a homemaker in the strictest and the truest of the sense.

So, now she was twenty one and had by now been in 10 states of India. She liked it this way. She hated clinging on to things for too long. To hold on to things and people and places made her weak. She thought.

It was her birthday and her mother was in the hospital when she realised the evanescence of life. Everyone has secrets, but she had way too many of them. And fearing severe to mild consequences she did not ever dare to reveal any one of them to anybody.

Ofcourse once when she did that to Rita’s boyfriend. And once more to Mum’s best friend. And the last time with Raghu … As in, they were all their secrets. She was good at keeping her own to her self.

Today seeing her most loved person in such a state, hurt her. It hurt her more than she could express. So, she promised herself once her mother was well, she would tell her everything. All the secrets bottled up inside her heart for all these years.

So, here she was, ready with a pen and a paper. And she started to write ,right from the childhood: the stolen pen, missing file, mosquito repellent, the broken arm and ofcourse the dead rabbit.

Confession no.1

I was nine when we moved into a new apartment at Delhi. Mum your mother gifted you that fluorescent porcelain doll when you were a kid. And you passed on it to me, I knew how precious it was to you. So while I did not ever express my dislike for her. Remember the maid broke her into pieces.

It was not the maid who broke her arm.

But I did.

Confession no.2

You remember dad’s file that went missing in Kolkata store room. I hid it because he never wanted to play with me. He never had the time. So I hid it at the attic, but I do not know where it vanished from there. I just had no clue where it went. The next day when dad was furious and he gave me that “you lousy little kid” look I got scared.

This is why, I never confessed.

Confession no. 3

Your maroon cashmere shawl which you think masi stole from you. It is actually still lying in my almirah. You gave it to me once. I know how much you loved the shawl and did not have the courage of telling you the truth.

But the day I was painting my almirah, I spilled some paint on it by mistake.

It ended up being black.

Confession no.4

On tenth standard picnic day, eighth standard Puja day and my birthday in 1998, I never took a bath. It was winters time and I used to freeze to death at that time of the year. So when you pushed me inside the bathroom. I never did take a bath. I hated it. So the cold and the fear of being termed lazy (which I was) I lied. To be frank even today there are days when I enter the bathroom and take a nice nap.

Wash my face and come out pretending “aah, it’s done ;)”.

Confession no. 5

In tenth standard and eleventh standard I flunked my maths exams.

Confession no.6

You and dad gifted me this chain that said “SAG” I hated it. I hated as everybody made fun of me and called me ‘saggy’. So I Lied to you that chains are not allowed in school and then I gave it away to our maid’s daughter.

She loved it.

Confession no.7

My friend Latika in class 7 was not a bad girl. It was just that she was just too good to believe. So, I cooked up certain stories about her. I framed her and proved she was not right for me. I know we were anyway to move out of the place. But then she was always the perfect one for you.

I hated it.

Confession no. 8

That weird looking guy with ugly teeth was my boy friend.

I am sorry this one I really regret.

Confession no. 9

So far I have watched 3 movies and went out shopping 9 times without your knowledge. Ok the numbers can be a bit high or low.

Rather higher to be honest.

Confession …

She heard a knock on the door. “Oh Maa, I was just coming to see you. We can do this later, you should take some rest”said Sara.

“No Sara it’s time we should talk. I have been thinking. I have some things to tell” said Bina.

Sara wondered what exactly was on her head. “Yes Maa go ahead. I am all ears” said she.

*************************************************************************************

Chapter 2

Bina said, “I have a few confessions to be precise. You know we all live by secrets. And sometimes it’s always good to let them go. I think it’s my time to do that.”

She continued. “I was nine when your grand ma gave me that porcelain doll. No matter how dear she was to her. Trust me I detested that ugly looking thing to the core. I hated pink colour. I hated dolls. But then we were not allowed to voice out opinions then. So when that maid broke it I felt so proud of her. But knowing that your grandmother was home I had to fire the poor maid.”

Sara had the most amusing expression on her face. She smiled. She grinned and let the emotions subside with in her.

Bina continued, “Once when we were in Kolkata your father had lost his file. You would probably hate me for it. But I hid it. I found it at the attic and he was not giving you due attention. So, I wanted him to give us some time. But, he got mad and you had to face the music. Do you even remember all this. You might be thinking I am getting old”

Sara remembered it all. But the lump of guilt inside her was now settling down one by one. So, she opened her mouth but words never came out. Like the only thing she was capable of was a nod or sway her head in denial.

Her mother continued, “We all have our own little secrets. I have many many many more. But I just thought of sharing a few. But remember at times they back fire. So, use your secrets wisely my child.” She did not say more and left.

************************************************************************************

Chapter 3

In the morning Sara woke up and decided to confess everything in front of her mother. She heard some voices. It was his father in a bad mood. It was not often that he was in a bad mood these days. But today he was a bit upset. Mother was sitting next to him.

Bina signaled Sara to zip her tongue. As she entered the room her father revealed what he found from her Mother’s closet. He found the Kolkata file after eleven years. And he could not believe her Mother's child like behaviour.

He said it could have cost his job at that time. She and her mother had this mischievous smile in their eyes. Both, for their very own reasons.

When Barin saw them smile he yelled.

They found it preposterous to lose cool over a file eleven years after it was actually required.

Just when, both the women were on the verge of tears he burst out laughing.

He said “You think you are the only one with secrets Bina. I found that file the very next day and replaced the folder with Sara’s drawings later on.”

Both the ladies frowned and made faces. After all, some secrets are better not revealed.

*************************************************************************************

Why do we read?

2010-01-12T06:06:00.000-08:00

Hmm Grayquill's post 'Why we write?' got me thinking. I was thinking why do we actually read. If I have lost a dog or a cat and I write about it. What difference does it make to your life? zilch.
What difference does it make if I am in love. To give it a thought, why should it matter to you?

Why are we interested in an anecdote from someone's life? If Mary had a little lamb why should we bother? What is the worth of Wordsworth's words?
If reading is enjoyable and pleasurable than why do we cry with Ursula, Sohrab or Dumbeldore?
Is pain pleasurable to us? Are we sadistic?

Why do I read?

I enjoy doing that. It lasts a long time in my head. Gives me a thought. Gives my thought a direction. Directions find new thoughts. I debate, laugh and forget about a few things. Somethings last forever.

I look for characters in people around me. I look for people in characters from the book. The dog eared old pages with notes on the back make me feel connected to the person who read it before me. I like to touch them and see what lies beneath. The book jacket talks to me.

Whenever I am sad or happy, the note on the starting page of the book makes me smile. The writer's dedication to mother, daughter friend or nobody excites me. What satisfaction he must have got dedicating his hard work to someone. How much he loved the people whom he dedicated his hard work. He must value them the most in his life. They must have done something worth it.

Where do these thoughts come from in a writer's mind. Does he write with a mindset that he will be read by someone. How does it feel when nobody reads you.

How does it feel when you read?
********

Lastly the awards I was to pass on to 7 or so people.

First the nameless award(it has already done the rounds to the people whom i wanted to give so I am not repeating them now)-

1. Soubhik- My first motivator to write....and continues to be one all the time.

2. Slow Processor- mutual fan following :)

3. Mind meanders- I know you don't post. but u can at least pass on the secrets comment section. or i can design a post card for you. just in case you know :)

Second the Kreative blogger award-

This one also came with a tag. thanks to choco. But tag business gets quite a lot so, need not do it. heheh.. :) Just keep writing.

1. Soubhik- again I was inspired by his creativity. -http://dubiousdistinctions.blogspot.com/

2. Bluntu- no words. his posts are a laugh riot- http://blunt-edges.blogspot.com/

3.Ashes- aah beauty and polished writings. she gets better with every post- http://ashesandsomedust.blogspot.com/

4. Grayquill- Creative his is. Hope your quill never grays http://www.grayquillmusings.com/

5. Shanu- Need I give any reason. The bade behen bhai win hands down with their creative gems. :P http://fullonbakwaas.blogspot.com/

6. Nim- Her photography skills have given her a new dimension. way to go girl. http://sectumspectra.blogspot.com/

7. Mahesh's blog Anubhav love the way he writes. http://anubhav-mahesh.blogspot.com/

PS- awards are not in any order of hierarchy. :P You can take the images of the award and put on your blogs from the previous post.

A New Year..

2009-12-31T14:01:00.000-08:00

“I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second”
Henry Fielding

5 New Year Resolutions...

a) Learn Violin
b) Learn sign language
c) Read Read Read- a long book list is ready
d) Write Write Write
e) Wake up early

5 things that changed in New year

a) I fear I am getting old
b) Situations that demanded responsibility should be taken a tad too seriously
c) I suck at managing files
d) I might be in love :)
e) I might not be in love :)

Awarded and tagged

2009-12-28T04:03:00.000-08:00

The Nameless Award on the right
Thanks to :
Bluntu/Ashley/ Shanu
(in the order of bestowing me with the award)

I was supposed to tell seven secrets. Considering tagged thrice. I made it 21 and 1 each as bonus ..hehe

I am the best- Narcissist to the core- which includes clicking my own photographs and of course self love is the best kind of love :) Kya karun mein hun hi itni acchi..
'Toothpick-onion-after mint' Thief'- I like to steal things from restaurants.. ahem.. like not kleptomaniac.. things like - I already mentioned.
Sleeping Beauty- like beauty sleep means sleeping in the bathroom. so that by the time u come out u look oh so nice. :)
Filmy to the core- which includes cheesey oneliners, refering to movies every now and then in random conversations.
I am a hopeless romantic- despite the fact that i deny it all the time. I like it when someone surprises me with a gift, a rose, a hug.. and things like that... the idea of a love letter or a song..aaha..nice.. hehehe.. But only if all this asked for ..i do not intend on increasing no. of stalkers..
Always fishing for comments.. yes i wait with baited breath for the first comment on anything i write. so, whenever i write something i feel like wish someone was next to me..who will read it and zooom here i go with the good and the bad of it.
I hate waiting for the first comment on any post .. ahem more or less the same secret
I want to write a book some day.. yep that too an autobiography..
Cursh meant nothing for me When I was in school.. I suppose in 6-7 standard. I had no clue what did the word ‘crush’ mean.. I was told by some one dumber than me that it means something you are excited about at that time.. so I wrote My latet crush… my nanaji is coming to delhi… crap now I want to tear that page from that girl’s slam book..
All hail Maharani of Rajasthan: Whenever I visit forts I start feeling this raaz pichle janm ka..that I am a reincarnation of some royal blood..
All Bad-Sad-Hindi Film Songs: I hold a collection of the most vahiyat hindi film songs
What is in a Name: I do not remember Hollywood stars' name. Despite the fact that I watch the movies..but when someone asks me who is who.. I suck at it
Geography sucks: It is deplorable.. like I am directionally dyslexic roots of which I think are inherent in my senselessness of geography. For me America can be anywhere.. and the latitudes and longitudes.. god I suck at it.
I have no clue where I am going-Directions are not my cup of tea.. have told this before. but u should know that there are chances that i can get lost even on my way to home.
Future Tense- I do not know what I want to do in life. hum kis gali jaa rahey hein. apna koi thikana nahi hai...
Bald and beautiful- I have a thing for bald men and tennis players.
Crushes get crushed- At a moment I can have more than one crushes. But the moment I get to know the person. I guess my ego is satisfied and I no longer remain interested in that guy.. damn… all my crushes get crushed… because I think they are meant to be crushed.. they etymology behind the word is this I am sure.
60 secs of fame- I want to feature in some toothpaste advertisement kabhi.. like I have this perfect battisi- dentures..
Always trying to be funny- I have a funny bone which can actually go wrong anytime..as in I often try and be funny all the time.. that is why I am called the pjqueen
Kids Kids Kids- I love spending my time with kids. They can cheer me up anytime. They are super duper good. Even if they are ugly I find them
I love buying books- .. no matter I read them or not Like this is my ultimate stress buster. Shopping for books especially hard bound second hand books. I love them. like they smell so good. the feel of dog eared pages. mind blowing.
I cannot keep a secret.. ;)

ok enough for abhi.. i have to pass it on to people.. the second award also comes with a tag.. but i shal handle it in next post.. thanks choco for that.

love all..
riddy

A christmas wish

2009-12-24T18:39:00.000-08:00

This is from my four year old sunshine. my niece. my best friend Kuhu. A little gift to each and every one who reads this.

Dear grown ups,

My hands are small
- I don't mean to spill my milk,
My legs are short -
Please slow down
so I can keep up
Don't slap my hands
when I touch something bright and pretty
- I don't understand
Please look at me when
I talk to you,
Then I know you are really listening,
My feelings are tender -
don't nag me all day
let me make mistakes without feeling stupid
Don't expect what I do to be perfect -
Just love me for trying
Remember I'm a child not a small adult
sometimes I don't understand
what you are saying
I love you so much -
please love me for just being me
not for the things I can do.

I love you
you are all that I have.

A four year old kid's wish
Author Unknown

The morning

2009-12-18T08:14:00.000-08:00

A few blurry smiling faces walked down the foggy street. The turbaned man, in his late fifties, sat on the edge of the footpath smoking a joint. An elderly homeless lady curled up near the temple lived by the warmth of a few logs of wood. Perhaps, searching for the lost moments of her life in the shining embers of charcoal.

Old uncles, looked like cartoon characters, with their eyes like sockets bulging out of the little monkey cap spaces. Some sat, some walked while rest observed the movements around them. The movements included occasional swaying of the trees with the gush of air or the ups and downs of the obese man’s paunch. In synch with their loud orchestrated laughter which often brought a smile on the otherwise glum faces.

And there she sat, clad in a brown cardigan, wrapped in the warmth of an off white muffler, witnessing it all.

The brown eyed, well built dog with pointed ears wagged his tail as he saw her. He barked at every two wheeler he saw. As if they threatened his private space like a new dog in alien territory.

That was usually how a cold winter morning began for her.

Waking up with a whiff of instant coffee, feel of shredded cottage cheese and tempting baked breads. It was an act rehearsed a number of times. Perhaps, she could sleepwalk the entire winter morning act. Having coffee and cheese sandwiches; taking her camera, book, notebook and pen. Sitting at the far end bench of the Central Park reading and scribbling.

But still she loved doing it every single day of her life. The characters from her books came to life in this very park. That is how every morning seemed different.

She sat scribbling something or the other that often made no sense. Only she knew why she started her day like this. There were stories to everything around her and they were for ‘real’.

Begginning from the dog to herself. He used to be a white coloured dog with dark brown spots. There were times when he would just disappear for months and then return.

But, once when he disappeared he came back with an unusual shade of brown black. Some naughty kids did it or he jumped into a pool of dye. Nobody knew. People were really scared as they thought some new unknown dog had come. But the watchman knew who he was. Both of them shared this bond that everyone knew about.

And soon everyone adjusted to the idea of him being brown black.

What interested her, were his frequent adventurous detours into the unknown. This reminded her of Tally Ho, the dog from the book Red Dog. He was strikingly similar to the fictional character.

The homeless old lady reminded her of Miss Havisham. She looked sad but had an air of diffidence about her. Her hollow glances baffled the onlookers. They had an air of unease that disturbed anyone.

The loud laughters of old men camouflaged their tears that poured down the saggy eyes of many sunken cheeks. They laughed their loneliness off. And lived clinging by these moments of togetherness.

The turbaned man smoking outside was the gardener. He spent half his life in dazed state of affairs. He was often seen hallucinating or shouting at invisible kids. They said he was out of his brains. But, once even he used to be sane. Sane as the world defines it to be.

And lastly herself, the bespectacled double for a confused direction less soul. Her life was not fictional. She never wished for it to be either. But these animated bookish characters fascinated her.

The morning seemed to pass in a hazy state of trans. Where she could wake up to new ideas and learn new lessons for life. She was part of them now and they were part of her.

Blast from the past

2009-12-11T19:23:00.000-08:00

My two elder bro and sis back from school. When,
Dad- So, how was school?
Kids- Good
Mom- lunch?
Kids- Dying.
Mom- Smiling.
Kids- Growling
Mom- ok first answer a question?
Kids- Duh?
Mom- How many siblings are you?
Kids- aaaaaaargh
Kids- like.. you are a limit.. 2. two. T- W- O... Now can we get our food.
Mom and Dad- jaws drop?, two? How can you forget your little sister?
Kids- Shit..Lunch gone... :(

When I was ten, it was a family outing. Five of us in an auto rickshaw was tough to fit in. An auto can accomodate four on seats. while I had to sit on someone's lap. I disliked sitting on someone else's lap while everybody else enjoyed the comfort of a seat.

Bro- Sit Sit (As he grabbed one of the seats)
Sis- I will take the window sit
Me- So will I
Mom- both cannot sit there. Me- I will
Mom- Stop quarrelling. I will.
Me- No No i will
Mom- then I will sit on your lap is it?
Me- Ok. yes you can
Mom- stop it.
Bro- you are extra Me- no
Sis- yes. Mom got you from dustbin.
Me- No.
Bro- yes see why do you think autos have four seats. because the fifth one is extra.
Me- (with tears in my eyes) No. Mom did you seriously get me from dustbin maa?
Mom- now will you please let me sit on the seat.
Me- Yes.

Few days back, after 19 years. Dad's friend came to our place. He is now a Member of parlament in some northeastern state. So, a round of introduction was on: Dad- She is my elder daughter, "blah"
Blah- Hello Hello..as she flaunts the knowledge
Dad- this is my son "Blah Blah"
"Blah Blah"- Hello- again flaunts his dialect of the northeastern state.

I enter, peeping from the background waiting for my turn.
Dad- this is Mr. Ramsingh, he works with me at office
Ramsingh- namaste
Dad- this is padosi
Padosi- namaste
Me(thought) - me me me me
Dad- Lets have dinner.

I waited for my turn which never came. Blah Blah came to rub it in.

Blah Blah- So, u met the uncle.
Me- No I am not interested.
Blah Blah- Yes Yes, you useless journo. Come i shall introduce you. Guess some one forgot to do that.. Or may be he did not ..ahem
Me- shut up.
Blah Blah- Grinning.
Blah- aaah What happened? Why are you laughing?
Blah blah whispered it in her ear.
Blah and Blah Blah laughed away to glory. While I finally made my way out and said.

"Hello, I am blah blah blah, the youngest daughter."

Huh.. Whatever.

Auto Shauto Hunting

2009-12-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

Auto Shauto Hunting.. i always end up finding such autos or buses.. mast art of expression hai :)

Auto Art-
The slogan on this auto says "अमीरों की ज़िन्दगी है बिस्कुट और केक से, ड्राईवर की ज़िन्दगी है स्टीरिंग और ब्रेक से";
Translation- Forget it.. essence will be lost ..

This is interesting-er and my favourite.. Translation is possible here- "Side Please- there is tiger inside"

This auto guy was so enthusiastic that he did not leave any blank space at all. He had some weird factual things for life. Things like how going to the religious shrines gets you blessings and how one should respect their parents.. but what it proclaimed or rather adviced on the right hand side of the auto was killing. the last photo is the side view of the same auto. where the guy is telling us the role of a husband and wife in tandem with that of ram and sita.. thank you Auto wale bhaiya I am enlightened.
No comments on this one. :)

Inside and outside of a class

2009-11-18T10:21:00.000-08:00

In the classroom. A teacher with a little problem with his eyes (squint) and the kids with every sorts of problems with their eyes (to see things that do not exist)

Professor- There are two ways to look at a thing.
Once in a blue moon Student- (lets out a laugh) There certainly is.
Professor- for example it is cold today.
Why am I a student? Student- that is news, I though my teeth were clattering because of the arid classrooms
Professor- I am wearing a vest below my shirt
Why am I a student? Student- So?
Professor- So, you can look at it from two different perspectives
Geeky Student- why would we do that anyway?
Professor- One is the fact that my body from the inside is responding to the cold outside.
Sincere Student- Hmm so what happens on the inside shows on the outside

Professor- now the second way of looking at is what lies below the vest
Geek Student - West? Bay of Bengal
Cool Student- shut up dumbo
Curious Student- what is he upto
Intellectual Student- eeeew.. grose
Ohh I am so cool! Student- like excuse me?
Once in a bluemoon Student- now you are talking

Professor (looks confused at the weird faces but continues)-- so below the vest is the feeling, the heart that makes it do things that it does. Or is the vest an expression of my being. A point I am trying to make

Why am I a student? student- oohhhk.. so what else does your heart make you do?

Sincere Student- deliver senseless lectures with bizarre examples.
Professor- what are you whispering?

Once in a bluemoon Student- sir, just that what are you wearing the vest for, because it is cold or does your heart says that it is time?

Professor- what rubbish is this, you are in MA? Stop making your own questions.
Stupid Students- giggle.
Professor- getting back to my earlier point...
XYZ Student- ....the vest
Professor- (sits up and stares)
Why am I a student? Student- Sir, If looking at the thing makes me feel that the thing is just done to please others or to hide certain parts and not really feels it . Is it possible to feel this way? Is it then the false expression of your being?

Professor- Hmm yes it is quite possible.

Entire class laughs... as the teacher walks out of the class.
Of course the meaning was clear just replace things with 'vest'.

Sir, If looking at a vest makes me feel that the vest is just done/worn to please others or to hide certain parts and not really feels it . Is it possible to feel this way? Is it then the false expression of the being?
What do you think? :)

Moral of the story- All teachers are smart. All students are stupid :)

Happy Children's day 14th November

2009-11-14T02:29:00.000-08:00

It felt dirty ‘inside’

I used to love my

Muddy blue pants

But you always

Liked them clean

You know what

It did not change

A thing in me

Because,

It felt dirty ‘inside’…

"Clean because,

they should shine"

You said.

And I should not

Look unclean

But, clean for me was -

The ice cream stain

The mud, the sand

The greasy paint

Do you remember?

The Little girl at the

End of the street.

With a dirty face,

A dirty shirt and her

Dirty little hands

She smiled at me

But, I could not smile

Because, it felt dirty inside

Is she nice,

I had asked you then.

And your smile

Was in disguise.

What was it,

That you hid from me?

It felt dirty inside…

The girl next day,

Did touch me though

And, I felt she was just me.

Mum, I know

it was not the dirt

But 'dearth'

which

made her unclean.

R.S.

It is time to celebrate childhood. To give them what is rightfully theirs a 'childhood' .

Gift a childhood today and if you do that, here you can put this little kid's smiling face on your blog. Just to remind yourself and others of what good you did for the day and days to come.

lets make a child smile :)

Happy Children's day

It is that time of the year

2009-11-10T06:41:00.000-08:00

Image: From the Internet

It is that time of the year…

When the vision dims
As the twilight fogs…

And the Blue eyed beauty
Sighs at the misty moon

As she walks down
The Begrimed path

Her frail white hand
Tries to hold
The mist and the sand

She can hold them,
She thinks, she can

The sheen of her whiskers fade
Whiter than the skin

Last winter or last to last winter
Or was it not even cold
When she had sat down the lamp post
And felt it coming…

Just like the mist and the sand
She thought she can
She had tried too hard
to hold…

Welled up a tear
In the blue of her eyes
It is that time of the year

When things were there
But, did not appear
The eyes failed
As the blurry truth took over them

Her tongue felt cold
As she tasted snow
Overpowered by the numbness

She lay there
‘Frozen’
It was that time of the year….

"I care playing for India"

2009-11-05T09:20:00.000-08:00

"Tendu Ten don't"

India vs. Australia... the entire series has been so disappointing.. As in there were matches that we almost won.. too close yet too far...

Sachin is the most awesome outstanding player of the century.. what a match.. 175 runs .. Brilliant.

But the presentation ceremony said it all. Disappointment written all over his face. He wanted to win. And he could not have done more. But still, ending up on the losing side...
I am utterly disappointed. And that Dhoni is a git of a man. Can't he appreciate the man for the ehsaan.. for the spirit with which he played. Even Ponting said that Sachin delivered an outstanding knock. But, the captain of Indian Team was audacious enough to not appreciate his own team member. that too the best one.

Chor saala dhoni. I hate him huh.. khud se toh hota nahin jo kerte hein unki taarif nahin ker sakta.. jhootha ..

Hats off

The Wedding Weekend

2009-11-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

It was one busy week for me. I had exams, my cousin's-childhood buddy-wedding and a tiring goodbye to the guests. So, all in all it was an eventful and emotionally exhaustive week.

Here we are discussing, what makes a wedding interesting? –
a. Bride or Groom
b. New clothes and jwelery
c. Eye Candy- EC

Option C is the most awaited and clandestinely wished ingredient of a wedding. As in, no body says it blatantly, but everybody wishes for one or two ECs to be around. So, that you have something to ‘admire’, as one of my friends put it, to talk about. You can get bored of discussing bride and the groom. So you go flaunt your goodlooks or admire someone elses. Same difference. :)

So this is exactly what we did. We had only one EC sadly. “The girl gang” (The GG) comprises of newly wedded and young teenage girls who are ready for some harmless admiring activity.

The rules are set from the onset. You just have some fun. To define fun - jokes at the EC’s expense, jokes that are friendly and subtle, to make it obvious at times that he/she is ‘EC’. Lastly, the fun depends a lot upon circumstantial humour and the element of surprise.

So, here we begin. Our EC was obviously a guy. And The GG devoid of all the discussing, gossiping, cribbing, beautifying and self admiring classes decided to hunt for a scapegoat- EC.

So, it all began at the legendary dining table where EC was the host and the GG sat together for the fiesta all at his expense ofcourse.

Ok we will call participants of GG as (GG1, GG2, GG3 and so on)

GG1- I am hungry, so hungry that I can eat the table.

EC- Oh the pleasure is all mine, but please leave the table.

GG2- giggles (Why?)

EC- smirks (he he he macchli jaal mein fans gayi. The prey is ready)

GG1- Coughs violently

EC- this is dog cough

GG2- giggles

GG1- huh (Bitch)

The feast begins and the girls keep giggling God, it was too much obvious even from the EC standard rule book. Anyway now the EC was serving chapattis and then water.

GG4- I want a chapatti

GG5-(mumbles) eat less he will think you eat a lot

Extras- chapatti ma’am

GG2- giggles… heheh .. giggles again

GG4- what the hell I never asked for chapatti (sees EC fetching water) I said Pani (Water). Huh.

EC- Oh I did not hear sorry.

The GGs laugh and continue with some harmless jokes till the time the grown ups turn up and the dinner is rounded up.

The wedding day-
The GGs clad in wedding dresses and makeup make overs look awesomely pretty. The EC gives his best. At night when everyone is tired to death and having a quiet time with the bride:

Scene- the Bride’s room, everyone waiting for the next wedding ceremony called feras. The GG’s tired to death … almost dosing off to glory at 3 am. A knock on the door and we see EC at our disposal.

GG1- Sits upright
GG2- Giggles in slumber
GG3- In an attempt to reach the door almost runs over the bride
GG4- Opens the door
GG5- Clears her throat

Bride- Sighs lucky bitches! Come on my tantrums weren’t so boring

EC- Are you ready

The GG- err yes (what do you think took us so long. Yes, we are)

EC- so can I use the loo

GG5- This is what you wanted to ask?

GG1- duh?

GG2- stops giggling (finally)

Bride- Like what should WE be ready for if YOU have to pee. (My lehenga weighs 100 kgs and he is standing there as if.. phew..) go now use the damn loo.

GG3- (mischievous eyes) what if some grown up enters our room now and finds a guy in the loo with all of us here.

Bride- My wedding will be called off shut up guys.

GG1- stop acting like a bride, act like a girl. He is the EC man.. like what are thinking.

GG5- haha if someone enters just now we will tell him -ohhh EC Please don’t come out

The GG- laugh out loud at all the ridiculous tales going on in their naughty heads.

Bride- What if we lock him from the outside.

GG1- Brilliant idea

GG3- Now you are talking

GG5- Why not hold it from the outside, he will never be able to come out.

Bride goes and holds the door knob from the outside. While The GGs laugh and crack jokes .. some of them fall off the bed while the rest roll on the floor.

GG6- just imagine if the door knob breaks and he is seriously stuck in the room.

The bride cracks up in a laughter and with a jerk the knob comes in her hand. Everyone in The GG gang falls silent for a second. They all look at each other’s face and then towards GG6.

GG6- (in her defence) Like I did not do anything. It is divine intervention.

Bride- Now What

GG1- EC tum ghabrana nahin hum tumhare saath hein

GG2- starts giggling again

Now the ideas of getting him out go even crazier, lets lock the room and disappear.

Bride- What if I was there in his place. God my wedding would have never taken place. Everything happens for the good.

GG2- uff not again. OK let me try. She puts the knob in the now created vacant space and tinkers with it.

This time a few pieces of iron and moulded metal fall down. The situation worsens.

Finally after ten minutes every one falls silent and now the panick stricken faces realise they might be in a big soup. So one of them decides to call a grown up to rescue. Just then one of the grown up hears the cries and enters.

Grown up- how can this happen let me try.

GG5- are you sure you can handle.

Grown up- Grown ups are smart, they can do everything . taktak tak tak taka tak.. thadack.

Another loud crack and then the lock breaks into two pieces. The GGs stare at the grown up and laughs, like he did not find any other loo or what.

Just then GG5 asks for the lady weapon- a hair pin. And tinkers with the knob

Click. And open. The EC stares in amazement and relief.

EC- thanks GG5 for saving my life from the washroom.

GG5- the pleasure was all mine.

The GG gang – how was the experience?

EC- life threatening

EC left the room and everybody laughs till their stomachs ached. Later

EC- So, if it would not have been you I would have been locked up for god knows how many years.

GG5- oh not a problem. I was just trying to help

EC- Ohh How modest of you

GG5- (sala) yeah right (Dude it was just a wash room.)

EC- So you are here with?

GG5- My husband and my 5 year old daughter

EC- (puts himself together) Ohh you do not seem that old. Aapki twacha se aapki umr ka pata hi nahin chalta.

I WAS NOT SCARED

2009-10-21T22:06:00.000-07:00

OK before we begin, it is not that I am a darpok (sissy in angrezi I think), it is just that I do get scared very easily.

Yes, I told you am not a darpok now stop staring me like this. It scares me. I mean I get scared by that look of yours, the eyebrows up and the eyes popping out. Come on don’t lie even you are scared of those looks. Remember mum’s glances when you do something wrong.
Aah see caught you darpok… :D (devil’s grin)

Anyhow this is not about you. It’s always about you is it.? huh.. I was talking about I, me, myself.

So, In the summer of 2008, my cousin came to stay with us. Ok it was not exactly summer but then summer sounds so fiction-ish.. continuing

A random fact but still relevant that I am directionally dyslexic. If you send me to the simplest of places I will manage to some how complicate the ways. On the top of it I have the knack of confusing you as well. So never ever ever ever make a mistake of

a. asking me the way to a certain place (including my home, school, office, college and your home school or office)

b. Never ask me for directions

Some other day on my dyslexia.

So, as the cousin was here we were to take her around and show ‘Delhi’. I have been here from past 12-13 years and have never ‘seen’ the place. Loser, I know. Anyway so, this cousin was also not very enthusiastic on going and checking out old monuments and buildings of Mogul empire. She said she wanted to have fun. As we say ‘masti karenege’

So our brother advised us to break the cliché and go to this new place in the near by market. He said it was like Appu ghar’s Bhoot Bangla.

Now for all those who are not familiar I will elucidate. Appu ghar was the most wanted amusement park of Delhi. But sealing and all issues needed it’s closure. It does not exist anymore (bahhooo hoooo.. aai maaji )

So there in that amusing world of swings and interesting rides was this fun ride called bhoot bangla or haunted bunglow. It was supposed to be a train sort of a thing which would taking you in a tunnel where there will be surround sound “eeeheeee he he ehe he (chudail hasin/ female ghost laughter) the devil laughter, the ghost aura and the ghastly sights of mannequins and puppets on the lines of ghosts. As a kid I used to get real real scared of that place. It was dark and people used to come out shrieking.

When I grew up, as in I did, Yes I did like, forget it. Continuing, I grew up and I realised arrey it is so funny. You know like when you are immature you like movies like kuch kuch hota hai and main ne pyar kiya. When you grow up you know how funny those movies are. Like Karan Johar said“tum nahin samjhoge bacche kuch kuch hota hai”

Digressing again..

Now, we went to this new place called “Scary Fort” in kamla nagar. I was accompanied by my elder sister, cousin and my 3 year old niece Kuhu. Now we thought that the place will be some sidey shit. So, let’s go and have fun.

When we were to enter, the ticket guy said we can’t take Kuhu as she is too young for it. So we left her there with the guard. As we entered it was ofcourse dark, like I know I am not scared of the dark, like not always, Occasionally yes. Everyone is.

Right when we entered there came a hand from the dark and a very loud husky voice that said “kahan jaa rehi ho mar jaogi” (where are you going? you will die) lord I had a stroke right there. I said mujhe nahin jana (I do not want to go).. and I screamed.. I was the loudest. I said I am going to be with kuhu but nobody listened. My concerns for the 3 year old were genuine. How could we leave her in the middle of nowhere. I wasn't scared just ..

That was just the trailer. As we entered uff! it still creeps me out.

There were people chained to chair and they get up and scare you to death as you go near them. I just wanted to see the light to come. I thought it will never come. I shut my eyes and concentrated on screaming my heart out. That spared me quite a deal. While we were about to end the ordeal my cousin said very coolly arrey I left my hanky there. We had managed to see the light at the end of the tunnel by then. My throat was out of screams and I was furious at that cousin of mine. Like, here we were fighting for life and death and all she could think of was a hanky.

I came out and was shaking for the next half an hour. Kuhu heard us shout all this while so she thought it was the place we mentioned every now and then. Whenever she was not behaving properly we used to tell her that she will get punished. The scary fort became the hub of fictional fear for her.

Since then whenever Kuhu or even I am part of any mischievous doing we are threatened to be sent to the scary fort. And trust me not that we are really afraid or something but come on that place is scary.

I regret going to that god forsaken land on that ill fated summer day. God not that I was scared but as in dar sabko lagta hai, gala sabka sukhta hai..

This is so me :)

2009-10-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

It is not usually that I would post something like this. But I sincerely feel this is soo me.. This is all true.. And I kind of liked it. So here it is ..aahan..

College re-visited

2009-10-15T20:54:00.000-07:00

This poem here traverses my journey through college. A nostalgic tribute to the three years of graduation. To all the friends who made the days, the months, the years, more than special. It has been doing rounds on facebook with all my friends responding super emotionally to it. Thought might as well share it with all of you here.

Between sips of iced tea

Between sips of iced tea

I dwell,
Over images from the past

The people, their traces
Places that used to bear familiar faces
Never ending nonsensical talks
Twilights and long walks
The chewing gums, the fights
Carefree days, insomniac nights
Rotten humour’s victorious grin
Banging heads over melodious din
Lunatic fits of dancing in the lawns
Followed by trite lectures with yawns

Professors- who knew more than they taught
Professors- who talked more than they knew
Some knew more than we could ever digest
Shakespearean critique of potter’s quest

A new bag full of fresh perspectives
Old expressions got new adjectives
We now existed in ‘dismantled’ frame of mind
Once called ‘secret’ now became ‘clandestine’
Innuendoes, words with numerous connotations
Words that sounded like ‘anthropomorphization’
Snake that no longer looked like a snake
Foucault put our very existence at stake

Still it was fun one way or the other
We cribbed and sulked,
And culled and mulled

I saw it all over here
Love, friendships and betrayals
Or real life characters of literary portrayals
Today, sitting here
I wonder what has changed
I do not find anyone
Anyone but myself
Sitting and writing
As ‘that’ life flashes past me
Between sips of iced tea

We all scrap and tweet
Don’t get the time to ‘really’ meet
As we all smile from the mug shots
Nostalgia cripples as memories clot
Even this vision will soon become too blur to see
Between sips of iced tea …

I know this post comes too late. But I have been writing (finally). So, will try posting some of them together.. Sorry all for not staying in touch. I have a lot of catching up to do it seems. Was not doing that great with health and wealth :) so was just taking a break. Also, guys happy diwali to all. The festival of lights also keeps me busy. As mehndi, rangoli everything awaits my gracious presence. Will definitely post some photos of the celebrations. Till then hope you have a great festival. Hope you are all fine. take care. I will read all the blogs; homework at hand- brose, blunt, nim, grayquill- m back to haunt you all at blogosphere :)

love

riddhi

It is hard to say goodbye

2009-09-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

To begin with I lost a very dear friend, so my condolences to the great man. A person who despite the tremendous age gap between us managed to keep me glued with his magniloquence. I think he was in his late 60s . The senior most person in my office Phuleshwar Nath Jha. He was a champion in thumb fight. I could never beat him at that. Our characteristic hand shake was known to the entire office and everybody wanted to learn the way we did it. But we enjoyed the little attention we got out of it.

Once I was in a horrendous mood and not my chirpy usual self. So, he came to me and said "gussa kerne se kuch kaam nahin hota. tum hasti reha kero bitiya kaam hojayega" (anger never solves a problem. You should always smile and the difficulties will fade away)
when he got to know that i will leave office he used to say "aapke bina toh office suna legta hai" (The office does not seem lively without u..)

Now the office, the mail box... seriously reminds me of his presence.

He was a storehouse of interesting anecdotes from his previous workplaces all this while. I remember how surprising it sounded when he said he worked for 25 years at a stretch in the same organisation with no work issues. Phew, for me 25 days are enough. Like already my track record is not so great. My first job never took off as I never joined it after signing the contract with them. the second one lasted for a month where I ended up wrapping up work for three months in that duration. The third one, lasted for 4 months 18 days. Then I opted out for studying. Again this June, I joined PCRF and now its been 3 months .... hmmm lets see...

We often used to walk a kilometer together to the auto stands and he would narrate me all his familial problems. His concerns about his daughter's teacher training... I seriously miss him a lot. The other day he hurt his foot while getting off the bus. The entire day in the office he could not work because of the severity of pain. I got an ointment from the chemist shop and applied a bit on his foot. I remember how overwhelmed he was. He kept his hand on my head and did not say a word.

He left really for home early that day. After a week or so I got a call and he said:

"riddhi bitiya mera poora parivar tumhara shukriya kerta hai. tum us din nahin aati toh bahut jyada hi pareshani hojati. abhi bhi mein haspatal ke chakkar kaat reha hun per tum ne jo kiya woh aafis mein toh meri beti bhi nahi ker pati. jeeti reho. khush reho"

(MY entire family is thankful to you for what you did that day. Your timely help avoided a major problem. i am still taking rounds of hospital but what you did was more than what is expected out of you. may you have a really long life. be happy.)

This is the last time I spoke to him. His last words for me. Hope he is fine up there. I seriously miss him a lot. Our lunch time talks, hand shakes, thumb fight and his ability to smile in the worst of times.

wish I could have got a last chance to say goodbye.. to say how much he meant to me... He reminded me of my grandpa.. both of them must have met each other by now...

Kuch bhi likh do (write anything)

2009-08-23T07:55:00.001-07:00

I have in the last few weeks logged on to the blogger website and thought of updating this darn blog several times.. But, then things went on accumulating and I kept on delaying them.
Now the world seems grim as the 'post postponing period of the post seems to have stretched for too long a span'...

well several times I thought I shall update

1. A friend was leaving thought would write a goodbye post-

Comments- how does it matter to the rest of us?

Mine- ohh wow I have a comment :)

2. Work at office was hectic thought would write about it

Comments - As if rest of the world was busy watching rakhi ka swayamwar

Mine- Come on don't lie Rakhi swayamwar got over ages back. watch khatro ke Khiladi instead. i like it when India's best wrestler cries infront of camera. we have to overcome our fears. yay!!

3. The rains in delhi and the roadss there after

Comments- ohh that's really a first. a new discovery. shhhh don't let anybody know about it. Post it to NASA.

Mine- Come on don't flatter me. it is no rocket science. I know I am gifted .. Oh puh..leez now let it be....

4. My results are out, I am in MA final now

Comments- wow You are the first person in India to reach that stage.

Mine- really? I knew I can do this

5. It was my sister's birthday a post hailing sisterhood

Comments- Public display of affection..

Mine- errr.. ok..yah .. alright...

6. Saw kaminey thought of reviewing it

Comments- You are the first one to see it great. 'F' jokes are way too common

Mine- ohh you have feen it too.

7. wrote a few sad poems

Comments- Thank god you did not post it

Mine- I know poetry needs a different set of readers altogether. My poetry deserves better.

8. I will write something.
9.I will write something.
10.I will write something.

After all the hypothetical conversations and posts, I finally decided "Lets stick to something."

In short I could not think of anything. I am thus suffering from blogging block. Like it is in vogue to say it when you are out of ideas.

Love Aaj kal ?? never

2009-08-09T06:27:00.000-07:00

why am I so slow???

Ok for all the International readers, the few I can boast of, ;) this post is a venting out of hatred for a particular actor who has time and again done the same type of roles, in the same way of acting and in the same disappointing manner with the same rotten-constipated face. "Applause"

The name of the actor is the chhote Nawarb Saif Ali Khan. He should see a psychiatrist when it comes to finding or 'realising' when he is 'actually' in love. Both reel and real life this bloody irritating man can not 'decide'. Like he is 'slow' very very very very slow. Slower than the slowest being on earth or universe.

Like he did this in Dil Chahta hai, we liked it.

He did it in HUM TUM, with those irritating animated creatures, we still liked him.

He did it in Salam Namaste. Some people liked it.

Now he does that again in this Love AAj Kal.

I dislike, disapprove, detest, hate, abhor, disagree, dismantle, dis miss... and whatever diss.'.satisfies my frustration levels, should be put in here and read as 'written'.

This guy always does the same roles of the confused lover who has a hard time hanging on to a girl and then he harps about how he thinks that love stories are fictional matter. And one fine day he says he will leave the girl and not marry her because he is too cool. yay.And the next fine day he will realise no that was love. Abey he looks buddha, I mean looks old and he is old enough to end such stupid acts in movies.

Get a life, the same old dialogues of saying that love never happens. I remember the dialogues by heart. Because we have seen the same funda time and again.

I know I have taken it a way too seriously but that guy completely ruined the movie. A few good things about the movie-

Music, but there is no need of any song, because they just come from no where. there is not coherence or need for them.
The Brazilian female acting as a Punjabi next door girl. She does'nt know how to act. but then neither does Katrina Kaif.
RISHI KAPOOR RISHI KAPOOR RISHI KAPOOR
If you like black coffee or black tea watch it for the heck of liking them, they play major role in the movie
A few dialogues which twist a smile. mind it very few.
Advisable not to relate it to Jab we met. It is nothing in front of that. think Imtiaz Ali just flushed the memories of that master piece romantic comedy in front of this ... whatever.

And why I hated this movie is more to the Indian cinema's being stuck on the same 'slow-lovo-commito-confucio-phobic' sense of protagonist in each picture with the same old ghatiya dialogues. Like I can write one such movie just by talking crap. And my good sense of seeing such vaahiyat pictures.

"pyar toh kitabi batein hein, heer ranjha - laila majnu toh sirf kitabon mein hotein hein..kya tum oyar mein vishwas rekhti ho? abey nahin kerti toh kya tu koi aur dialogue nahin maar sakta.

hum toh new generation hein.. yeh woh .. falana dhingna.. mein aur pyar never,.. pyar mein toh mushkilein hein.. i can't commit.. then it is your bloody problem. Stop bothering the vieweerrrs with the same old mental problem of yours. Saif ali khan is dyslexic , he has lovautism.

Love shove is all bakwas/ crap.. don't tell me you believe in on this? Yay I am cool.. In what world are you living love never happens it is just the 'fun'... crap.. yap yap yap yap....

Tum nahin samjhoge kuch kuch hota hai..

Abey saaley chHHHHHUP.. SHUT UP!!"

Disclaimer- I am not a very die hard follower or believer of 'love' but atleast i don't yap on 70 mm and no body has to pay Rs. 140 or whatever to hear me act or express my opinion on love. And sorry Saif, if u r reading this, It will be for your own benefit. ;)

Rain is falling chhama chhama Chham...

2009-08-05T08:36:00.000-07:00

Scene 1.
It's raining and you are in the best of your moods. When suddenly the clouds growl and the sky is raided by lightning streaks.

Reel life - You get scared and brace the person next to you, who usually is the most handsome person on earth. Also, the person then turns out to be the hero and he gives out that triumphant grin gazing at the sky. He thanks the god for the help.

Real life- You just crib and curse the god for untimely disruption in flow of romantic thoughts in the sexy weather. Then, as you are unprepared for sudden noise and the lightning, you just jump or raise your eyebrows and show your astonishment. Next to you usually is no one. Or even if there is , it never turns out to be hero.

My life-
Lightning- Check
Sky growls- check
Romantic thoughts- Check
Sexy weather - Check
Astonishment- Check

But, instead of me getting all bewildered, it is some one else. It was the same bad weather condition when I was hunting for a rick to drop me till Anand Vihar bus stop. I finally found one rick guy, while talking to him the background music of the clouds' wrath continues. All of a suddenn there was a very loud almost deeafening noise and next i remember the poor rick guy in his attempt to save himself embraced me. and everybody around me was in fits. Both of us smiled uncomfortably an then he said 'darr gaya tha mein'. After two minutes he said chalo chalo side mein khade ho jate hein. but I convinced him that nothing would happen. Through out the way we smiled at the embarassing embracing act. BY the time we reached it was raining cats and dogs. I thought I might take pets home.. Ok sad.. Anyway, yeah then he told me madam ji aap bhi dar gayi thi na. I just smiled and said yes. As both of us were red in the face. ;)

***
Scene 2 will be continued for next post.... I have list of anecdotes to narrate....

Escape Part II

2009-07-28T02:49:00.000-07:00

She knocked on the door. And waited. She banged on it again. She kept banging it. The only response she got was in the form of thumping heart beats. She was breathing harder now, almost panting and sweating. The tension was mounting as she turned around and saw another door.

Another way out. She rushed to the new direction and banged, this time with both the fists, continuously. The doors at both the ends stared at her in silence. They could see through her, the nerves, the nervousness, they knew it all. They were aware of what was happening to her.

But they won't let her go. Wasn't there anyone on the other side of the gate.

Both the doors looked the same and acted for the same. They were shut. Nobody would know if they ever remained open. At least she doesn't remember seeing them open.

Her eyes glanced through each and every corner of the room as the silence seeped in the pallor of the walls. The squalidness of the room was overtaking her. But her vision softened when she saw something in the far corner.

A black iron rod standing in the corner of the room. It gave out a very long dark shadow. How come she did not notice it earlier. She gathered her self together and smashed it on the door. The earth seem to shake at the noise.

She waited.

Still no response.

She again banged it on the door. This time it followed a thud and a creak. Her hands went numb, the rod fell, the door still vibrated, as if recovering from the attack.

She waited.

A few wooden pieces broke off as she collapsed on the door. She crawled towards the crack from which a streak of flickering light was streaming in. A very very small hole that was good enough to accommodate one eye.

She could eye the world at least. Peeking from the door she felt the pace, the frequency, the motion of things outside. In complete silence they seemed to question the stillness of her space. Stillness of her being. The moving footsteps. There were a lot of them. They seemed to be in a hurry. For what, she wondered. Where were they all heading?

But they weren't going in the same direction. Her tiny eye could not even keep up with the pace. They burnt and ached at the sight. Did they not hear, she thought.

Her eye caught a little something in between the moving steps. It was there, right in the middle. But didn't anybody else saw it?

She did or did she imagine?

A little one with tears in his eyes, trying to look up, for help. Staring at the thousands of moving footsteps. She wondered if these footsteps had eyes, if they had arms or if they were part of the human torso like they are supposed to have.

Couldn't anyone hear him?

Did he exist, or she was seeing things.

Suddenly darkness welled up in her eyes. The footsteps seem to fade, while the little one seem to smile at her. A faint smile. She imagined, she thought.

Things went dark, black and then white and then black.

The noises from the cracks echoed in her ears, tremors went through her body and the cries reverberated there in.

A loud noise followed it all. It was deafening. The loudest thing she ever heard. The room shook with it and seem to collapse.

She smirked, as it grew louder and louder.

She waited for silence to seep in. Again.

Escape

2009-07-26T10:23:00.000-07:00

Image: Internet

The dimly lit room never made so much sense. It was what she had always wanted or tried to want. Her desires, wants, aspirations, everything came down to this very little room. A room of her own, there was not much of room for her otherwise. A space she wished she could spend her entire lifetime.

Escapism, yeah right, that is what they call it. But what is the harm? Where is the harm? At the end we all want to be happy, don’t we? Then why not find it in our own way. They find it in loud music, colourless odourless dress materials and diet food. She is just asking for her own space. That does not even bother a single ‘other’ soul.

But, sooner or later even this ‘room’ would leave her. Or will she leave this room? The space will shrink into a lump of collective guilt. A guilt to have joined the thousand other sleep walking ‘humans’. Will this room accept her anymore? It had sheltered her so far and how can it deny her of what is rightfully her own?

Has not she started talking like the rest of the world? She considers the space as an immortal state of being. She has changed, has not she? After all, they did it. They won. She did lead it the way they chalked it out for her. The way they think it is ‘normal’. The way she took to escape got her back to what she was trying to escape from.

You make it, you fight it, you take it, or you leave it. There is no escape. It is just a state of mind.

PS- I do not know what is this. I do not know if it makes sense. Yeah right I am sure I am aware that it does make some sense otherwise I won't be putting it here. But is it a piece of fiction or prose or just something that came to my mind. I just wrote it and it came in a flow. So, readers' discretion recommended. Comments required. Compliments Accepted Suggestions Appreciated. Readers Welcome.

Not great this time

2009-07-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

This is a wallet I bought fro five rupees. The inside of which has Celina Jaitely and some sidey actor in sensuous pose ;) I definetley bought it and here you go.

Sacchi-mucchi a very adorable name worth putting on the blog :)

Midnight and the week

2009-07-12T07:37:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, I had promised a post on "midnight". After the very old post on twilight fascination of mine, here I go with the making of 'midnight love'. OK do not think otherwise as in the other way round. I mean love for the 'midnight'. OK to be more specific 'in love with the idea of 'midnight' as a natural phenomena'. Yes, this sounds geeky enough.

So, I have often told everyone that people here in cities do not sleep on the terraces. I mean well off people, otherwise in Badarpur and other economically weaker section, they have no option but to enjoy the naturally air conditioned surroundings and wrap themselves around the starry blanket of sky.

After the use of flowery language, I want to seriously convey that I love the skies. Especially the clear, starry skies in small towns or villages. Here, I specifically mean Rajasthan as that is where I hail from. And that is the place which made me fall in love with the midnight skies. You can see numerous shooting stars and ask for all the wishes you want. Karan Johar can 'shoot stars' as many as he wants to.

In cities I love midnight for its silence. The city does sleep for a bit. During Exams time, I used to love the barren roads, the sleeping vehicles, the streetlights, the faint breeze, the moon almost gobbled up by two fat clouds. Also, the trees they sway and make noises. You can hear them talk, at times I do get scared of the night. But, I still like staring the sky for no reason and listen to music that is very very light. Not, very foot tapping numbers.

At times i get this very weird thought of painting in the middle of the night. It has happened to me more than once. I just have to paint no matter what. I am no artist or something but I love colours. So, I fiddle with them a bit. Another thought is that of writing. I write in the dead of the night and then my words bleed the pain inside my heart on paper. AAH there is something wrong with me. perhaps it is Pre-Midnight Madness. (PMM)

The most obvious form of midnight business is 'sleeping' . Aaha That is the best part of the day. Wow you just lie down.. silence...drifting away in dreams... I love sipping coffee in a winter midnight or even lemon tea is a great option. Lying cozy in my quilt, buried under the pillow and someone gets you a mug full of warmth. I wish..

I have always had this very crazy wish of spending one midnight roaming about on streets. I haven't actually done that but have surely gone close to doing that. Taking a walk on barren roads with street lights on and no person in sight. But music and a nice breeze add to the 'feeling'. Walking down the street the air just comes in your face whenever a car or a bus, the very few you can see at that hour, go past you. I love the gush of air that just shakes me, stirs me up.

Midnights are calm and that is when all restlessness should end. I think that is the time when the entire day comes to your head and rests there. If you have had a bad day midnight is not a good time of the day at all. Then things and bad day's bad experiences just come back to you.

I hate Dogs crying at that hour and Dogs love doing it then. I have had real time issues with street dogs crying or barking at night and then myself shouting back at them from my balcony. One of my brother's friend did it one day. He barked back and the watch man just made sure that the real dog never shouts again. He requested bhaiya to control his pet. It was quite an experience.

Now about the week that was...

Aah, It's been a week since I last said, I will come up with an 'impersonal' post. Forget it, this is my blog and my rules should be followed. So, How was the week? Mine. Good-great-nice. Yeah, office retained its peace. No accidents this week. But, the fact that the interns will leave the office and have already started leaving sounds not-so-good. I will miss all of them.

Especially now when I have got to know them so well...Dennis, Jill, Hanna.... Will miss them all terribly. For Sudipto, Vipul, Vipin and Jaya.. they are like 'my bunch' + 'My kiddy fun frolick bunch' (Here I go on my 'I me myself' journey)

Ok last thin on self obsession here. Yulia left this week :( Another intern from Abroad. I wasn't there for her farewell as well. Sadly. But, I liked that girl. And both of us regret not knowing each other too well. She left a letter for us and wrote nice things about all of us. Here is what she wrote for me before leaving-

"And sure Ridhi – colorful and many-sided personality. Like to read her blog filled up with interesting thoughts and verses that made a strong impression on me. It is great to see how she combines childishness and joyousness with ability to sense the human nature so deeply and to write, write, write. Regret that we haven’t spent more time together, but anyway it’s another reason to meet again somewhere around the World. (P. S. One of the roses is still here with me in Dehradun, making me smile and rising up the mood with a reminding of you.) Can not do anything – she is so sweet "

Aah yeah yeah ego booster. Come'on see how cool I am :) I can't help being so sweet. Ok OK I will shut up. Thanks Yuli and if you are seriously reading this thank you so much again and again.

Guys as promised last time I still haven't got the time to finish reading Artemis fowl. I think it is jinxed now. About creativity, I wrote a verse on my way to office. A verse in Hindi after a long time. Will post some other day. It is a bit philosophical in nature. About Delhi and its people. Like what else can I write by staring at people in metro.

See ya tomorrow. off for the night

Emotional Atyachar

2009-07-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

Just when I think things are sorting themselves out and I am finally going back to my 'oh-so-normal' self. Situation switches from home emotional atyachar to office. We get to see things that we never imagine

Like, as I always harp about nice soothing office.. I think nazar lag gayi hai meri.. It's because of me or something just went wrong in the 'pre-lapsarian' world of eden...

Now, the work pressure is so much that every now and then I hear people shouting on each other and being scold for various reasons from files to staplers ..blah blah.. perhaps it is the heat . I always blame it up on the heat but, there is more to it I am sure. The scene I hope betters it self.. is that an expression? I mean 'betters'.. may be

My posts, I have realised, have become way too personal and as Soubhik da says way too random.. whatever.. call it random reflections. I haven't read anything other than RTI Applications and people fighting endlessly for various issues...

It is fun doing that though, like I get to see people who find their 'cows' after fling RTIs and also people who want to become the Prime Minister of India for 6 months and they claim they will eradicate poverty. What is more incredible is that the guy has managed replies for such RTIs.. wah wah

Anyhow, I plan to read Artemis Fowl finally I will finish first part tonight.. Promise.. tomorrow is Sunday toh I am sure I will manage something.. I will now post something other than personal prose... Many people by the way have left PCRF as well. Many as in two.. one intern and DJ- remember techno legal transport ... :( which means I never get a lift till anywhere now.

But, Vipul has been travelling with me, which is really nice, but soon he will be gone as well and that means travelling to another country alone by all modes of transport. Pheew the thought in itself is scary. Sudipto and myself have been bugging Vipul with our senseless little jokes (how does it matter to anyone out here? Why I am writing stuff like ...)

I behave like the over excited toddler who has to narrate the day's event to her mother before the next day's school antics..And what is with the word- 'like'. I have used it almost ten times. like I am talking nonsense. See what I mean. Nothing new.

Oh by the way I think I am starting a daily column accident of the day. This time it is 'kitchen accident' with me. As corn sputtered in the oil, it just splashed on my hand and neck.

Now, I definitely evade from wearing half sleeves otherwise it seems that I am a victim of domestic violence with various kinds of bruises to flaunt. (Why do I get into gory details.. sympathy seeker)

I know it is not funny. But it does seem funny when people stare you in a very speculative or sympathetic way ;) And then I give the look like damsel in distress and my husband beats me to death... not funny again. Period.

Didi has left and so has my sunshine. I am going to have dinner now. So, tomorrow wait for something else other than outbursts I hope. I am fed up of 'I me myself.'

Self obsessed little wench inside me needs a break. Till then tata.

This is it

2009-07-06T23:08:00.000-07:00

This is it
The twinkle in your eyes
The dimple on her chin
Naughty little ‘sigh!’
Aah! I know
This is it …

You slip a little something
In a satin ribbon wrap
A tear wells up
Sitting pretty on her cheek
Aah! I know
This is it …

You hold her hand
A thought tickles you
The new state of being
Aah! I know
This is it …

The hand now sweats
As the grip tightens
Eyes ‘white’ widen
Aah! did I know?
Is this it?

The knotted dreams
Pink ribbon haunts
As you free yourself
Aah! only if you knew
This is what “it” is …

The look once enchanting
Now kills you real
A spell to undo it
Aah! I should have known
This is not it
This cannot be …

What to do with life? Whatever

2009-07-05T04:10:00.000-07:00

Good question. Things have been not so great as my last post said. But, whatever they are not as bad as I make them sound. Just that to vent out the inner regret and crap like that I just write what I think will do some justice.. like it is satisfying that i am at least not that unfeeling.. i don't
know how to complete this sentence.. I don't know what I am writing ..

The week as I told was full of ups and downs.. More downs then ups...
Ups-
Parents are back
Kuhu is here (niece)
Office is still OK. A bit hectic though.
It rained and We all had a super good time in office. I forced people to get wet in rain on the roof top. It was fun we acted like bunch of over enthu kids.
Have been bugging Vipul at office.It is fun to do that.. Bullying around people.
new cell phone
watched "Ice Age-3"
A real good friend is getting married in Pakistan.. Good wishes for her. Hope she has a great great life ahead.

Downs-
I still feel bad about the tiff with sister.
Though i wrote bout it, I feel I shouldn't have.
I am the clumsiest person alive on this earth.
I feel like sitting at a place silently -(which is not a good sign when it comes to me)
These days I talk because i know i will 'think' if i don't
I am not a Thinking person

Lastly, I have had some real adventurous days. I almost died as my Dupatta (stole) got stuck in a cycle rickshaw wheel. And I felt as if I was to be "hanged till death". My neck is severely bruised and I have been hiding it from dad. Because, he gets a bit extra concerned and then office going will be a bit tough. Yesterday, my auto banged into a Santro and footpath.. I am fine nothing happened. But, accident hogaya rabba rabba... The surd from the Santro came out and just stared at me. Which was a sign that the we shall meet in the battle field.

I realised I should pay and get off . That's when I find that I left my wallet at office. Wow. now i
am stranded in the middle of Uttar Pradesh, with no money on me.. What do I do?

Option one- I should give him the metro card and tell him to return it to metro station and he will get 150 rs.
Option two- Pen drive de deti hun
Option three- Files girvi rekh dun
Option four- Kahin bank hai kya? I have my salary cheque if they let me cash it right away.
Option five- Which side should i run- right or left?

Right then I found 29Rs. in chillad/ coins and some old five rupee notes. Thankfully that was enough for the distance I had travelled. Whatever....

Then I was to come to Delhi with no money on me. The metro station was kilometers away and I was getting late. So, I had to look for an auto that would leave me home and then i shall pay from there.

The adventurous day ended as I found one good fellow who dropped me all the way to north campus for hundred bugs. phew... That was close.

Messed Up!!

2009-07-03T10:05:00.000-07:00

u
You know how it feels when things just don't go your way. The world conspires against you to make sure good- things never sway your way.

Past few days have been exactly like that. I have been in an horrendous mood. Which is like rarest of the rare case with me. But, the sad bit is that it has stretched too long. I cannot believe i snapped at people for reasons i did not even know existed in my head.

I have hurt people that mean a world to me. Acted like a real bitch. Like i know I am not saying the right words, I am fully aware and still i go ahead and say anything that comes to my mind. At the same time i even try to justify my lost case.

Words, when spoken can never be taken back. Once they pierce through a person's heart there is no way to mend it. I do not know how to prove that intentions behind the act were . I do not even know what they were. I cannot say i did not intend to do that. Because at the end I am the one who did it. I said those words in complete sanity. I blamed the best person in my life of not loving me.

Insecurity triggered off by I don't know what. Family has been my driving force my entire life. When things go wrong with them, I seriously am without anchor. For a person who gives me her all.. who loves me more than anybody else on this earth.. ..

why did i even say those words.. Like she is not god that I will expect her to be all OK with it and move on. Though, that is precisely that she has done. But, I know in the nook and corner of her heart she feels really hurt.

I cannot do anything. But whenever i face her in the morning, I feel a lump of guilt and regret stuck in my throat. I feel like crying.. I have done that and that hurts her even more.

I don't know, I have just ruined it ..

Trying to fight a lost cause...

Messed up

Flashing Neon lights
Loud Music
Sinking
Collapse

Thumping beats
Throbbing hearts
Screams
Chaos

Wires all around
knotted thoughts
entangled
stuck..

I have no clue why I am making a personal matter so publicly vulnerable. But at the end I think accumulated thoughts might hurt even more... Whatever I talk like a middle aged Old hag who has lost faith in life.

Picture- internet, myspace.

Closet

2009-06-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

A white little notebook
Had glimpses of him
Dried petals
To remind me of
the very first love …

Maroon hard bound book
Dog eared pages
Of ‘The sleeping beauty'
First dreams and fancies
Gifted by dad …

Black fountain pen
that pernicious little thing
tricked the world
into numerical magic
on my scandulous marksheet..

A rolling pin
Miniscule stove
A broken arm of a
Blonde porcelain doll
Treasured pieces of
A memorable childhood

Things on my mind..

2009-06-27T09:46:00.000-07:00

The day seems too long today.
26th June has passed away.
so many people died in the last one week.
Was Jackson a good guy?
My grandpa was old and ailing.
Are we ever prepared to face death?
Is every summer so hot or we have this habit of saying "is baar toh bahut garmi pad rehi hai"
It is 10.15pm, I should finish Artemis Fowl finally.
Should I listen to music?
The day wasn't bad.
Office still seems nice.
What will I cook tomorrow?
I have lost appetite
Good I need to lose weight :)
I need to clean my place tomorrow.
Madhur Bhandarkar is mad cow. Racist sala. Piggy Chops sleeps with a kala and gets all shameful and all.
Why can't he get out of displaying stereotyping obviousness of life on screen?
Being alone at Home not a good idea.
I am missing parents.
My sister is coming to Delhi on 1st..
Chholey is finalised for morning menu.
Why are people so two faced.
Am I too much of myself?
Does it matter?
Yawn.. I am sleepy
Why is office so far?
Tomorrow is Sunday!!
Is Delhi a nice place to stay?
Why not dating someone till 22 is a surprise for people?
Do I look like "make friendships to me kind of female?"
what do I mean by categorising females?
Am I not a feminist?
Are feminist anti men?
What's wrong with me
DJ is really nice, he dropped me so far today.
Why am I writing this post?
Should I post-pone it?
Should I Speed post it?
Or may be lamppost.. whatever
I need some sleep. It's the heat.

PCRF- The extended family :)

2009-06-17T23:53:00.001-07:00

"I stretched my arm
to grab the sky
Sunshine streamed
to my heart
and stayed there in"

On 6th of June, I joined PCRF- Public Cause Research Foundation. Perhaps, simplicity is the sheer motto of the place. From the rugs on the floor to a surprisingly humble 'leader' - I can't call him a boss. He does not fit into the stereotypical definition of a boss. He is a leader. The new age leader who leads from the front and respects each and every individual as an individual.

Anyhow, this aint about how much I respect my leader. Ofcourse that is one of the many things I am going to discuss. Firstly, I am sorry for taking almost forever to update blog this time. I have been going through a lot. To be precise -rough patch, a ruined birthday and a hectic work schedule packed with the daily travelling fatigue.

Now, my work actually is to write stories. Basically my NGO, or should I say, 'WE' are organising National RTI awards to recognize the extraodinary amidst the ordinary. Right to Information Act has changed so many lives and still I am ashamed to say many people are not even aware of it.

By 'people', I do not mean dumb or uneducated people. I am specificallly hinting at the educated illiterates or literate uneducated.. whichever is right. I always get confused between the two. As long as you get the meaning, it is OK. In case you know kindly enlighten me aswell.

So far I have come across many many many interesting success stories. Actualy we do not get credit for our stories. It is more of a news agency sort of work. we put together the information and rest is upto the newspapers' will. But, I love it because I get to know it first. :)

Here is an introduction to my extended family-

Arvind Kejriwal- Leader- 'Humble bee' He is the most 'humble-polite-nice' and all the similar sounding words. I have never seen people sooooo humble.. Seriously like he is polite to the insurance/loan crank calls aswell. This is based on what I have known of him so far.

Swati Maliwal- 'Busy Bee' Why m i calling every one a bee.. may be all this seems like a hive. But She is super hardworking. Always working. Drinks,eats,sleeps and ofcourse lives work. Don't believe me? Come and see her for yourself. Another reason why I like her..ahem she calls me 'sunshine' :)

DJ- 'Transport-Techno-Legal-Support-System' No as the name suggest he is not handling any parties or music at office. He drops 4-5 people from north campus and provides free cab services. I do get a ride atleast one way which is really helpful. thank you DJ. He is also the techno guy who handles all the office computer-laptop glitches. My internet is never working and thanks to him I can work without hassles. He is a lawyer by profession so, that makes it legal. An elder brother kind of person when it comes to the conern and friendliness he maintains.

Shweta- "Good things come in small packages" She is like the first person I met in office on Day1. One of the reasons I joined it was her presence. I am sure she is not aware of it. I saw her jumping around office and laughing and distributing sweets she got from home. The sight was refreshingly relatable. I certainly would love to work in a place where a person is allowed to be himself/herself. Now, I think i know her better..She has a beautiful smile. I see a real good friend in the making out here. Lastly, She has a very fancy wallet, which she never forgets to flaunt. I wish I could have got one.

Kapil ji-'Torch-bearer'. While, I was hassled by poor writing, lack of coherence and other issues. He was the one who guided me. The person has something about him that makes me call him 'sir'. In the positive sense fo the word. He has a towering personality. Passionate journalist who pursues the story to the end.

Seema- 'Beautiful reality check' She is superbly beautiful and simple. But, at the same time she is one person who does not fear speaking her mind out. Such people, make office space worth it. She is frank and her opinions might seem in your face. That makes her special. I do not know her much but, she seems nice and always ready to learn. Which is good.

Vipul Wadhwa- 'Drama King' He bears a constant expression as if he is being ragged by his seniors at office. An actor par excellence. A great nature and has a knack for making random 'friends' in the metro. I share a good rapport with the guy. Not that I don't with others. But with him now it is more of a college friend nature. And ofcourse the kid got me a bunch of flowers for my birthday. thank you so very much.

Jayaji- 'little me'.. I see a little bit of me in her. She is a 'kid' who laughs on anything silly or even not so silly. So whenever I have an urge to crack my silly jokes I know whom to approach. Anytime I have to go laugh on something, she is the best to call. we have a common friend 'kandi Sridhar' Thanks to him we survive in a society like RTI. We know that smoke is 'valatile' and Drink is the curse of life. Sorry, to all the readers who do not know the context but, I had to write this.

Sudipto Sircar- 'muma's boy- this guy is any mother's dream come true. He loves anything his mother cooks for him. Anything means anything from tinda tori to karela. Good? Also, we have similar interests when it comes to books and music. So, nice to know him.

Riya- 'Elder sister' She reminds me of my sister for some reason. But, I do not talk to her much. Some thing pulls me back. I think she doesn't like me. She is a very intelligent person, as she knows how to juggle between work and home. I have seen her output when working form home, and can't question the dedication even then. Very responsible person around.

Jillian - 'Eyes have it' Her eyes speak for herself. I think I have actually fallen for her eyes or something :) We have now shared the same office space and the same nature of work for quite a while. So, I kind of know her well. She likes the food I get from home. And we have our silly little jokes about 'Indian' names. Because, considering she is still getting a hang of it, the situational humour is worth it. She now specialises in mis- 'quoting' people in news stories. :)

Feroz- 'multitasking lover boy'- As Arvind, said in one of the meetings, he volunteers for too many responsibilities. Currently looking for an eligible girl to befriend our highly sought after bachelor boy. Anybody interested?

Rishi- 'Hello haan hello'- He is currently handling Telephone operating department. Inka 'raj yog' aur 'laxmi' ji ka vaas bahut hi badhia hai. He has at persent the most crappiest yet entertaing job of taking crank calls. Most of them are weird people calling for 'girls jeans kyun pehenti hein, to college admissions.. blah blah blah' Still he is patient. Hats off.

Amit- 'Mr. Bhola' Very very easily bullied. He is almost scared of me and Shweta. Philosophical and hard working. He gells well with the photocopy guys. And they say he has a thing for 'guys'. Poor kid is almost office 'bakra'. But thats what makes him special because the smile does nt fade. Amitji!!

Vipin ji- 'Vivah hanji'.. he is also the good kind. Shares food. Concerned about others. The USP will be that he entertains us with Maithili songs and Vivah movie dialogues. mein prarthna kerungi

Abid- 'Goodheart'. he seems a quiet little peaceful creature in office. Who warns people from tripping on the laptop wires. But, actually comes across as a very neat, good kind of a person. Goodness toh jaise chehre se tapakti hai. :)

Yulia- "Colourful" Ohh I know her. She loves colours and also wears good clothes. :) I know her lot it seems.

Hannah- The first conversation I have had as of now is regarding their food misadventures with coloured tasteless rice. Now, I know her, she is studying International relations. And I seriously think the girl is very very polite. There is something about her eyes as well, they just show everything.. like that day she was feeling miserable because of the seven hours sitting on floor and a bad working day. She wasn't trying to show it off, but her moist doe like eyes said it.. Just an anecdote somehow touched me....

Dennis the menace- 'Rajasthan lover' Hmm. He certainly is not a 'menace' around here. I am enough to handle that department. But they say he is the most 'tech savvy' person around. He talks to me only when he has some travel plans or when he has to know about some travel or food relating things. But, he seems a nice guy. Has a 'naughty' spark in his eyes. Which makes him look as if he is upto something.

Mehtab- 'Mr. fix it' He is solution to all our problems. Food supplies, water supplies, chai, pani and so on.. Aap boliye aur hazir. We survive because of Mr. Mehtab's constant supplies with etertnal smiling face. Thank you.

Jha ji- He is the most senior person with most experince around. My super duper fellow as I love listening to his 'anecdotes' from past. A very very very cooperating and concrned person.

Ram Ji- A person with his fetish for 'rice'. He 'guides' the interns and promises in every meeting that he will send 400 letters from tommorow. But sadly, tommorow never comes. :P... He also tells every one to attach this 'shit' with their work. :) Jokes apart, a really sincere person. Shweta, as every one says is his best friend :)

Sneha Shreyasi Srivastav- 'Sneha Secret Service' The name speaks for herself.. Bilkul hila deney wala naam hai. her song collection is as good as mine. A very very beautiful smile and she loves Shahid Kapur. we have a knack for irritating people at work. And she is really good with her observing skills so, people at office beware, stay away from facebooking, orkutting or chirkutting. Sneha is on the prowl. Detective Sneha-ha ha ha.. :D

Chhavi- Sadly, she left before I could know her. yeah yeah she got to know that I am around and all. So, se got scared and ran away. Seemed a nice girl. Afterall she distributed gold coins when she left. But, later I got to know it was a choclate in a disguise.huh..;) Anyhow the girl was a naught little creature like myself.

Chander bhaiya- "Money Bhai" He handles all the incoming and outgoing finances in the office. Recently treated us with great pasteries as he celebrated his anniversary. A very amiable person, though his job woulld have made any guy seem rude. Because, after all money matters are really intense ans sensitive issues. A jovial nature and a face with a 24*7 smile. Perfect combo!

Ok I might have missed someone. No offence meant. But, I will update the list. Have to submit a few stories and work for new ones.. Tata every one.. Hope all is well with you guys. will soon write something, once i read something. C u Later Aligator

Latest stuff

2009-06-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

pappi guru -Mwuahh !!

ok can't get straight frward than this. buri nazar wale 'aankhein' daan ker de

wish dhoni knew about 'ब' world cup jeet jaate

pyar ke side effects!! like news channels need to grow up

This magazine aims to convert 'man' into 'human beings'
A must read for sure

Baby are you from another Planet?

2009-06-11T10:44:00.000-07:00

This cheesey song is a product of an ovedose of romantic comedies. Written a month ago, I think. Initially I decided not to put it on public display. But I think any thing is not too ridiculous when it comes to riddhi!!
Another Riddhiculous Post. Enjoy.. Yeah yeah Laugh if u wish.

Baby, are you from another planet?

It’s weird, the way you make me feel
It feels like a movie reel
It is just too good to be true
Why can’t you give me a reason to argue?
You say, “Hope it lasts, the love we beget”
Baby, are you from another planet?

No fancy looks, no fancy name
You are extraordinary, me just a simple dame
Too much of sweetness makes me feel strange
Didn’t you say I don’t have to change?
You say, “Just cherish every moment”
Baby, are you from another planet?

Look, what have you done to me
Holding hands, roses, this can’t be me
I mean, these are things I completely abhor
Does it need be more?
You say, “Don’t spoil it, it is perfect”
Baby, are you from another planet?

I am loud, I babble, do crazy stuff
Rotten humour, too much of myself
You simply don’t like it, really don’t approve
Do you want something better to reproof?
You say, “We were never meant to be met”
Baby, are you from another planet?

For the first time though, you understand
As I willingly accept not reprimand
Last day together, I am loving it, at last
Won’t this make a fascinating past?
You say, “Honestly, let us celebrate”
Baby, are you from another planet?

You don’t understand words, don’t you get the signs
Very next morning you find reasons to join
God, I talk so much, wish I also had a ‘voice’
Don’t I have a choice?
You say, “Men are from mars and...”
Hush... I knew it, depart to your damn planet!

I wanted someone different, not aliens, to confess
It took me 30 lines to express,
To express “it is tough”

While, you are stuck on your six odd lines of love
By the way, even they are not yours
I gave them words
Find a new planet, go ruin others’ verse.

A sad day for Hindi literature

2009-06-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

This post pays homage to four great literary figures of Hindi literature who passed away on 8th June 2009.

Habib Tanvir, a very popular Hindi playwright, a theatre director, poet and actor died in Bhopal after long illness. His famous plays include Agra Bazar (1954) and Charandas Chor (1975).

Om Prakash Aditya along with Neeraj Puri and Laad Singh Gurjar were killed when their car collided with another vehicle at Bhopal. These poets have embedded themselves in the Hasya kavi genre.

Sadly, I do not hold much of information about Gurjar Ji, but, Omprakash Aditya and Neeraj Puri were my personal favourites in this genre. The news comes as a great shock to me.

I wrote these lines to pay homage to these late poets and playwrights. May their souls rest in peace. There absence would be more than felt in the literary circuit.

दबे पाँव आए वह
जाने की आहट भी न की।
जाते जाते पर छोड़ गए
अपने शब्दों की झंकार कई।
यादों के इस साये में
हम सब क्या जी पायेंगे?
उनके भावों के सागर में
खो जाने का अभास कहाँ?
खालीपन हर पल खटकेगा
तन सूना सूना सा भटकेगा।
पर उनके गीतों से गूंजेगा

अपने मन मन्दिर का यह दर्पण।

What's New?

2009-06-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

Firstly with Google even I am celebrating 25 years of the game 'Tetris'. I love that game, have played it n number of times on my first handy video game. In bus, train and even on hospital beds it has served the best ever time pass.

Anyway this post is to divulge the latest stuff. Of course Fredrer won, despite the fact that i have developed a soft corner for Del Porto, a good player, indeed. So, here I am telling you what all has happened in the recent past.

On my personal front I am now working and have finally stepped on the axe. Is that really the way the proverb goes in English? no idea. But, I have taken up a job in Ghaziabad, it is with PCRF http://www.pcrf.in/ . I am on their Media team and my job is to 'write' aah I love it. But, the fact that it is so so so far from North Delhi that some one has to be as insane me to take up the job. By the way the place is super cool, no office politics, but genuine healthy friendly competition. No hierarchy, no tables, no chairs, no AC.. aah I have never wished for anything else. There are mats and laptops and you can work as per your wish as in the posture of your choice :). Lastly, there are many such insane people who travel from north. Though they do not oblige the public transport department as I do. They prefer a personal transport instead.

Currently I plan to pursue this work for 2 months. I will travel via public transport and possible all possible modes. I take a cycle rickshaw till metro station, then the metro, then I get off at Kashmere gate Metro Station to change it for Dilshad Garden Metro train. Dilshad Garden paves way for an auto ride till Anand Vihar Bus Adda. That is the UP border so I take up a cycle rickshaw till my final destination Kashaumbi. The road to my office is a bit messy, so I leave the rick around a kilometer before and thus take a walk till the office. toing!!! simple we have reached.

Despite all the bhagadaudi this morning I feel a bit happy and relaxed. So here is what I wrote in metro on a Cafe Coffee day used tissue paper. Have a good day people.

I have a rainbow round my shoulder
Violet pierces through my heart
Indigo glows down the path
Blue flows past me
Green eases out the pain
Yellow seems to fade
Orange fills my mouth
Red becomes me

Trainspotting

2009-06-01T02:29:00.000-07:00

I know there is a movie with the same name as 'trainspotting'. But, the post is not even vaguely related to it. I was watching news and as always it is the most depressingly frustrating part of the day, unless of course I am watching the most sadistically entertaining news reporters from the-

"Identifier of National Disasters In Afghanistan Taliban Vicinity" [India Tv]

Yes, I managed to find out their real motive, the Aliens themselves divulged it to me in Kajat Sharma's Paap Ki Adalat.

Anyway, coming back to the post. News. I seriously do not understand how do we reconcile debates in India. Civil, Social, day to day issues and National issues of civilian, social importance are the basic premises surrounding them.

Here is a list of such issues which triggered of debates at national level

a) Reservation- Gujjar-Meena crisis in Rajasthan; SC/ST crisis- OBC crisis thanks to Mr. Arjun Singh's decisions etc. etc.

b) Dera Saccha Sauda- Baba Raam Rahim and his blasphemous attempts.

c) Killing of Dera Sachkhand Holy figure in Vienna

d) Rise in the price of onions

e)MNS- Marathi Manus vs. The Indian warrior

f) Saffron Brigade vs. The safe-run Brigade

g) Tytler vs Sikhs

I can probably go on with the list of problems. But, we are brilliantly intelligent people you know. We have one solution for all the above problems and all others to come. One solution to end all debates. here are the solutions

a) The Burning Train - I think they got confused with the meaning of 'reservations'. Train reservations are a touchy issue for us Indians.

b)The Burning Train - Religious head and blasphemous attempts to hurt Sikh sentiments. Was he 'train-ed' to do this? you never know.

c) The Burning Train - The guru died in Vienna, how will burning of trains in India solve the issues, I am still figuring this one out.

d) The Burning Train - Burning trains actually would have delayed the transporting of the vegge delight. but, whatever. We are not to question our intelligence and integrity especially when it comes to "The Burning Train".

e) The Burning Train - Marathi manus are inspired by bollywood, I can not blame them. It is always easier to blame movies for our reactions.

f)The Burning Train- No clue, might be because burning trains gives them satisfaction of winning over one another's political agendas.

g) The Burning Train - hmm.. Tytler starts from T and Trains begin with the same letter. A simplified case of mental satisfaction.

And the latest one being, halts of trains were removed from one station in Bihar, the crowd could not digest this and burnt down three trains. like hadd hai? gaadi nahin ruki toh jala denge? Bohra gaye hein kya sab. sala paisa toh humara hi legta hai.

With time and the advent of globalization, protests have diversified their approaches though.
If you are less violent, you can throw shoes. If you are non-violent go for a candle light vigil. Those who are too lazy to protest against the protest, like me, write.

As if I have any other thing to do. Don't challenge me though or i will go trainspotting!

I hate to admit but we are just the worst examples of 'termites' who eat the wood from inside. we just do the same to our public property. If I start counting the number of trains burnt tilll now.. neah I think it is an impossible task.

Sorry for another random rant. But, I was too pissed to stand it. frustration.

Kuch yahan wahan ki gupshup..

2009-05-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

Its been quite a while since I did some "idhar-udhar" ki baatein. General life stuff.. After all vacations hein.. garmiyon ki chhutiyaan. aah...
Ice creams.. Shikanji-nimbu pani... lemon soda... Mangoes... and of course RAINS....

BREAKING NEWS- NADAL LOST.. :) I never felt better. I am so happy.. super duper. I never wanted him to win this one.. I want Fed to win.. Bjorn Borg is sacred and I hope nobody ever breaks his winning spree record..

I being India TV fan follower came up with reasons for Nadal's loss. The most acceptable and obvious reason seems to be the "attire". What on earth is that saand-the bull wearing? Pink.. not just pink it is Jhintak- chakmak- satin pink.. eeewwww.. and add to it his fluorescent yellow wrist band and head band.. aah beauty... soney per suhaga..

Yes, I am biased but I am happy that the sweating bull in a tight Capri lost to Mr.Sondrenil's excellent game. Aah life is beautiful. Ok he is a good player and all. But, it is my blog, so my shit. He has to take it. :)

Oh and as always I showed new signs of a complete bizarre case of trying to be of some help for my mother. My elder sister and mother have this really cool instinct with putting 2 things together and coming up with theories. Ok I will explain how they do it. It works on their super fadoo-rocking- observation skills. They sneak a peek on the things around them. By the end of the day both of them would know the neighbourhood without having a word with them.

Like, new neighbours right opposite our place have three daughters and one is married. The mother is really nice and the saas sasur also stay there. The second daughter is dating someone. Blah blah blah.. I am not a party to this because I do not possess these logical putting of relationship angles together into a nice little talk.

I tried my hand at it recently and told my mother a month back that one of my neighbourhood Bhabhi, who already has two little daughters, is expecting. Last week my brother saw that family going in their car with a very little baby with them. He said "look kitna chhota hai" and I said "ho gaya".

He gave me a weird "hulloh" look and I said "The bhabhi was expecting, unhi ka hoga". He did not react but, I rushed inside to prove my observational skills. I told my sister on phone the new piece of information.

Yesterday my mother saw the entire family without a kid. She said "riddhi?? She doesn't even look as if she has had a baby recently. Kuch bhi bolti hai"

I saw the lady again and Mum was right, but I think, she should do something about her belly. And stop misleading people like me with such "good news" .. yeah laugh it off and yes I am bad at it and thus, I am good when I am off it.

All others with moral glasses on- who want us to not stare into other people' s homes. I am sorry we can't keep our eyes shut. As long as we are not causing any harm and creating any problems for them with our 'interestedness' (I know it is not a word). Like one of my mami stares a person from top to bottom till the time he/she is conscious enough to see in some other direction. So, there is an art of observing without piercing through the person's life. Like some people have Xray Machines fitted in their eyes. I hate interfering Aunties who ignore their own daughter's kartootein but are willingly keeping a watch on others. In our case it is just a healthy within ourselves gossips. It's just ABIUBKS -Aao Behen Idhar Udhar ki baatein karein syndrome.

Rajasthan is going through tough times. Bikaner and the neighbouring areas are experiencing sweltering heat. Many areas are badly effected by dust storms. In Chhapar around 80 Black Bucks have died because of summer heat, with no Salman Khan to kill them and no courts to give them justice. Hope things change soon. Hope the sun does not shine too often for a few days at least.

Chalo baki sabh badhia? Me toh goods. tip top. u tell kuch yahan wahan ki gupshup.